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“Most people would prefer to work for themselves rather than someone else.” Do you agree with this statement? Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

“Most people would prefer to work for themselves rather than someone else. ” Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion. 6arjl
I believe that, given a choice, almost everyone would opt to work for themselves rather than be an employee at a company. Being self-employed or running a business gives people independence, flexibility with schedule, and, most importantly, higher income. First of all, independence is one of the main reasons why many people have decided to be self-employed. They do not like to be regulated by any procedures, or be governed by companies’ regulations. Without these rules, they have the freedom to make their own decisions. For example, as an owner of his company, my friend has the full right to decide his business operation. He does not need to concern about other instructions if he disagrees with them. Secondly, being self-employed is appealing because freelancers have the flexibility to manage their own schedules. They can stop working to take care of their child when he is ill. In contrast, an empployee has to work when his manager tells him. His boss is likely to refuse permission to leave work, especially when his company has a heavy workload. In other words, the employee has more limited and restricted time than the freelancer. More importantly, most people would prefer to be entrepreneurs because they feel that opening a new business brings a lot of benefits for themselves and societies. Should the new business run smoothly and in accordance with the business plan, the owners should get a lot of profits. And then, it will create job opportunities for the communities as well. However, the situation is totally different for a normal employee. He feels no great incentive to try hard at work because he usually receives the same amount of money. His income is regulated by a set hourly wage or an annual salary. In sum, most people would rather be their own boss than work as employees if they could. Business owners have more independence, more flexibility, and receive greater rewards for their work than typical employees do.
I believe that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a choice, almost everyone would opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for themselves
rather
than be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Being self-employed or running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
independence, flexibility with schedule, and, most
importantly
, higher income.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, independence is one of the main reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have decided to be self-employed. They do not like to
be regulated
by any procedures, or
be governed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
regulations. Without these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, they have the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.
For example
, as an owner of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, my friend has the full right to decide his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
operation. He does not need to concern about other instructions if he disagrees with them.

Secondly
, being self-employed is appealing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
freelancers have the flexibility to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedules. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
working to take care of their child when he is ill.
In contrast
, an
Possible spelling mistake found.
empployee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when his manager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
him. His boss is likely to refuse permission to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
especially
when his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has a heavy workload.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
has more limited and restricted time than the freelancer.

More
importantly
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer to be entrepreneurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel that opening a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for themselves and societies. Should the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
run
smoothly
and in accordance with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
plan, the owners should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profits. And then, it will create job opportunities for the communities
as well
.
However
, the situation is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. He feels no great incentive to try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
usually
receives the same amount of money. His income
is regulated
by a set hourly wage or an annual salary.

In sum, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
rather
be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
if they could.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
owners have more independence, more flexibility, and receive greater rewards for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do.
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IELTS essay “Most people would prefer to work for themselves rather than someone else. ” Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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