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Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences. v. 1

Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences. v. 1 7pM93
With the sudden increment in the numbers of accidents happening in past decade, road safety has emerged to a be vial and critical point of concern. Most urban planners, stakeholders, native public and government are minutely observing different patterns followed in developed countries for reducing accidents. In my perspective along with imposing higher fines and stricter punishment, other aspects should also be taken care of. In many developed countries, even with faster speed limits and more cars or vehicles on road, traffic congestion and accidents rate are relatively at a lower end. For instance, in Dubai, pedestrian pathways are a part of road section; also they have designated bicycle, parking tracks and patches respectively. Another aspect which is considered prominent in road safety is the road furniture. There has to be a proper methodology for constructing speed breakers, road signals, roundabouts, flyovers, etc, which in turn will act as a prominent feature in reducing accidents in long term. Now days, people tend to get a license without even appearing for any exams leading to rash, hastily and immature drivers. The system should be rather transparent as air, eliminating the corruption level and the test should be more realistic. Also, government should take initiative at a foundation level by implementing driving lessons at a very early stage i. e. in school. But at the same time, increasing level of punishment might be useful to some extent. It is a proven truth harsher the punishment, the more likely individuals are to follow the regulations. People might start driving at a regular speed if fines are increased, might follow traffic rules if driving license is seized, might follow rules if imprisonment rules are in practice for those who don’t follow rules. Concluding, in my perspective, the ratio of imposing other rules and aspect to imposing higher fine is 70: 30.
With the sudden increment in the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
happening in past decade,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety has emerged to
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'be' is correct. If 'be' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a be
vial and critical point of concern. Most urban planners, stakeholders, native public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are
minutely
observing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
patterns followed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. In my perspective along with imposing higher fines and stricter punishment, other aspects should
also
be taken
care of.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, even with faster speed limits and more cars or vehicles on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, traffic congestion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
rate are
relatively
at a lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
For instance
, in Dubai, pedestrian pathways are a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
section;
also
they have designated bicycle, parking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
and patches
respectively
. Another aspect which
is considered
prominent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
furniture. There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be a proper methodology for constructing speed breakers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
signals, roundabouts, flyovers, etc, which in turn will act as a prominent feature in reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in long term.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a license without even appearing for any exams leading to rash,
hastily
and immature drivers. The system should be
rather
transparent as air, eliminating the corruption level and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
should be more realistic.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take initiative at a foundation level by implementing driving lessons at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early stage
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
in school.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the same time, increasing level of punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be useful to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. It is a proven truth harsher the punishment, the more likely individuals are to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the regulations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
driving at a regular speed if fines
are increased
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
if driving license
is seized
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
if imprisonment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are in practice for those who don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

Concluding, in my perspective, the ratio of imposing other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and aspect to imposing higher fine is 70: 30.
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IELTS essay Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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