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Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development?

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. g6D3
Globalization is here to stay, driven by advances in information technology resulting in scientific development, global trade, the global distribution of labour etc. Despite all the significant progress globalization has added to our lives it has some disadvantages as well. One main advantage of globalization is the global distribution of labour. It is really easy nowadays to move to other countries as an ex-pat to find a job, it leads to better prospect opportunities for Individuals. One significant effect of globalization is that Industrial resources have moved from developed countries to developing countries. Indeed travelling to other countries is relatively breezy if we compare this to the past. It provides an opportunity for people to meet other people around the world and understand their culture. Along with all the positive effects of globalization, it has various detrimental effects on our earth and lives. Industrial resources and machinery in developing countries are a substantial source of pollution. It gives rise to global warming as well. But somehow these countries bear these issues because they need to accelerate their economy and boost the job sector. Another effect of globalization is the financial crisis across the globe. When a financial crisis arises in one country it affects the economies of the whole world. Just like recently, the financial crisis started in the USA and then it disturbed all of the countries. One more major drawback of globalization is that when a virus emerges in one area but because every part of the world is connected it rapidly spread across the globe just like coronavirus. In conclusion, globalization is a double edge sword with tons of advantages and with several disadvantages as well. However, our earth continues to shrink as technology expands and we need to accept globalization as a fact in 21 century.
Globalization is here to stay, driven by advances in information technology resulting in scientific development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
trade, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
distribution of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
etc. Despite all the significant progress globalization has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
as well
.

One main advantage of globalization is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
distribution of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. It is
really
easy nowadays to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as an ex-pat to find a job, it leads to better prospect opportunities for Individuals. One significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of globalization is that Industrial resources have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
travelling to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
relatively
breezy if we compare this to the past. It provides an opportunity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world and understand their culture.

Along with all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of globalization, it has various detrimental effects on our earth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Industrial resources and machinery in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are a substantial source of pollution. It gives rise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
somehow these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
bear these issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to accelerate their economy and boost the job sector. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of globalization is the financial crisis across the globe.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
a financial crisis arises in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it affects the economies of the whole world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like recently, the financial crisis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the USA and then it disturbed
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. One more major drawback of globalization is that when a virus emerges in one area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every part of the world
is connected
it
rapidly
spread across the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like coronavirus.

In conclusion
, globalization is a double edge sword with tons of advantages and with several disadvantages
as well
.
However
, our earth continues to shrink as technology
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
expands and
we need to accept globalization as a fact in
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
.
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IELTS essay Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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