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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them. Mxoa
In the modern life, it is fact that the number of people who are fat are increasing. There are a variety of possible reasons for this, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem. There are three main factors are to blame for increasing obesity among people in recent years. Firstly, as a result of wrong feeding, people may suffer with fatness. For example, consumption of fast foods or drink harmful drinks can be main reasons for this kind of problems. Secondly, lack of exercises is considered one of the main causes for overweight, namely setting a long time infront of TV or screen, using from the internet for many hours without any motion. Finally, incorrect sleep mode also can be showed as a cause of increasing average weight of humans. People fatness can certainly be solved with several solutions. The government and people themselves should be responsible for their proper nutrition. Government should decrease the figure of announces of harmful foods, looks like junk foods or drinks. People should be inouraged to do exercises for staying healthy by society. For instance, government should built new buildings where people can easily work out and the price of entering there should be decreased by government. In addition, people should also be getting used to sleep 8 hours totally for a whole day with may be making alert foe waking up. In conclusion, people will continue to face overweighting problems, unless government and humans themselves set clear rules and try to be health.
In the modern life, it is fact that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
are increasing. There are a variety of possible reasons for this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
steps can definitely
be taken
to tackle the problem. There are three main factors are to blame for increasing obesity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in recent years.
Firstly
,
as a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
feeding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may suffer with fatness.
For example
, consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods or drink harmful drinks can be main reasons for this kind of problems.
Secondly
, lack of exercises
is considered
one of the main causes for overweight,
namely
setting a long time
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of TV or screen, using from the internet for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours without any motion.
Finally
, incorrect sleep mode
also
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
as a cause of increasing average weight of humans.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
fatness can
certainly
be solved
with several solutions. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves should be responsible for their proper nutrition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should decrease the figure of announces of harmful foods, looks like junk foods or drinks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
inouraged
to do exercises for staying healthy by society.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "build"
built
new buildings where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
work out and the price of entering there should
be decreased
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
be getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sleep 8 hours
totally
for a whole day with may be making alert foe waking up.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue to face
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighting
problems, unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and humans themselves set
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and try to be health.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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