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Most of the world's problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Most of the world's problems are caused by overpopulation. v. 2
The excessive population in the world creates lots of issues rather than other problems such as pollution, energy shortage, et Cetra. I, holistically, agree with this viewpoint, because people need their necessaries, and it is impossible to fulfil the necessities of overpopulation. To begin with, the globe has limited resources, which will be used up if people, carelessly, use those resources. However, what if people start using these materials carefully, nonetheless, all these valuable objects will be ended in the long run due to uncontrolled population. This is because all citizens have the right to utilize the energy, which comes from the earth, where governments cannot levy heavy, or pass rigid laws regarding the usage of the power for the excessive inhabitants. For instance, if authorities announced that children, who born in the 21st century, will not use gases. This might not be the solution to saving resources at all. The bureaucrats may pass rigorous laws such as China, which restricts parents by having a one-child policy. On the other hand, the earth has been polluted recently neither for the carelessness of the people, nor the unawareness of governments who may not provide slogan to the outskirt of cities for the excessive population. If a country has a huge citizen, no technology would solve the problem of dirtiness. For example, studies have shown that a person exhales 20 tonnes of carbon-di-oxide, which is less compared to the use of a car. For that reason, it is estimated that people are, invariably, responsible for pernicious particles in the air, which is getting hotter that causes greenhouse gases and leads to global warming. Thus, if the birth rate is not controlled, pollution will increase rather than decrease. In conclusion, overpopulation helps, significantly, to forge the world's problem. I, diametrically, agree that if people cannot control the birth rate, the world will be contaminated more than the past, besides the energy will be finished as well.
The excessive population in the world creates lots of issues
rather
than other problems such as pollution, energy shortage,
et
Cetra
. I,
holistically
,
agree
with this viewpoint,
because
people
need their necessaries, and it is impossible to fulfil the necessities of overpopulation.

To
begin
with, the globe has limited resources, which will be
used
up if
people
,
carelessly
,
use
those resources.
However
, what if
people
start
using these materials
carefully
, nonetheless, all these valuable objects will
be ended
in the long run due to uncontrolled population. This is
because
all citizens have the right to utilize the energy, which
comes
from the earth, where
governments
cannot levy heavy, or pass rigid laws regarding the usage of the power for the excessive inhabitants.
For instance
, if authorities announced that children, who born in the 21st century, will not
use
gases. This might not be the solution to saving resources at all. The bureaucrats may pass rigorous laws such as China, which restricts parents by having a one-child policy.

On the other hand
, the earth has
been polluted
recently neither for the carelessness of the
people
, nor the unawareness of
governments
who may not provide slogan to the outskirt of cities for the excessive population. If a country has a huge citizen, no technology would solve the problem of dirtiness.
For example
, studies have shown that a person exhales 20 tonnes of
carbon-di-oxide
, which is less compared to the
use
of a car. For that reason, it
is estimated
that
people
are,
invariably
, responsible for pernicious particles in the air, which is getting hotter that causes greenhouse gases and leads to global warming.
Thus
, if the birth rate is not controlled, pollution will increase
rather
than decrease.

In conclusion
, overpopulation
helps
,
significantly
, to forge the world's problem. I,
diametrically
,
agree
that if
people
cannot control the birth rate, the world will
be contaminated
more than the past,
besides
the energy will
be finished
as well
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the world's problems are caused by overpopulation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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