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Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What i s your opinion on this change? How is this change will affect children’s life in your view? v.1

Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What i s your opinion on this change? How is this change will affect children’s life in your view? v. 1
More animals are at risk of being wiped off from the face of the earth. This could be a direct consequence of cutting down trees and killing of livestock without following due process. This essay will discuss why it is imperative to shield animals and also recommend different methods of preserving threatened wildlife. It is crucial to shield organisms that are at risk because their presence on earth and in the food chain creates a balance in the ecosystem. For example, I read a book in which the writer claims that if creatures like termites are eliminated from the universe, humans will cease within a period of fifty years. Also, preserving animals is paramount, so they can be used for research and educational purposes. Many discoveries made by man today would be impossible without the observation of some wildlife creatures if they have been wiped out from the earth. Thus, it is vital to keep animals from harm. One primary way of curbing baseless killing of animals is to make a policy that gives only licensed hunters access to forests, thereby preventing unlawful hunting of creatures. This law was passed in Australia in and there has been a progressive increase in the number of species previously classified as “threatened”. Furthermore, there should be a global “plant a tree” policy. Although there is an increase in cutting of trees, plant-a tree policy would bring about an equilibrium. Unlawful tree cutting and animal killing results in some animals going extinct. This essay argued that preserving animals is paramount and also recommended solutions to this issue.
More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being wiped
off from the face of the earth. This could be a direct consequence of cutting down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and killing of livestock without following due process. This essay will discuss why it is imperative to shield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
also
recommend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods of preserving threatened wildlife.

It is crucial to shield organisms that are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their presence on earth and in the food chain creates a balance in the ecosystem.
For example
, I read a book in which the writer claims that if creatures like termites
are eliminated
from the universe, humans will cease within a period of fifty years.
Also
, preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is paramount,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for research and educational purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
discoveries made by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
would be impossible without the observation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wildlife creatures if they have
been wiped
out from the earth.
Thus
, it is vital to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from harm.

One primary way of curbing baseless killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a policy that gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
licensed hunters access to forests, thereby preventing unlawful hunting of creatures. This law
was passed
in Australia in and there has been a progressive increase in the number of species previously classified as “threatened”.
Furthermore
, there should be a global “plant a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree”
policy. Although there is an increase in cutting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
, plant-a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
policy would bring about an equilibrium.

Unlawful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
cutting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
killing results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
going extinct. This essay argued that preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is paramount and
also
recommended solutions to this issue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What i s your opinion on this change? How is this change will affect children’s life in your view? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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