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More students are travelling abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

More students are travelling abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it? wWoe

Since the last ten years, there are many more students who travel abroad to study to international universities. I will investigate the advantages and disadvantages on this pattern in this essay. First of all, studying abroad is exciting and you can meet a lot of persons from other countries. You can find opportunities to study new subjects you are not finding at your home town university. Yet, you can be feeling lonely and feeling homesickness from time to time. As example, I have had this experience when I visited Japan for my study experience three years ago.

Since the last ten years, there are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 more students who travel abroad to study to international universities. I will investigate the advantages and disadvantages on this pattern in this essay. This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, studying abroad is exciting and you can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :attain
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 persons from other countries. You can find opportunities to study new subjects you are not finding at your home town university. Yet
, you can be feeling lonely and feeling homesickness from time to time. As example, I have had this experience when I visited Japan for my study experience three years ago. 

IELTS essay More students are travelling abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

97 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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