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More people are travelling to another countries

More people are travelling to another countries lLRQQ
The number of travelers has increased abroad over the decade It wasn't like that before this decade. The people who want to enjoy their life and visit all the areas in the world for these people it increased. However, some of the people didn't visit all the places in his own country but they visit other countries for enjoying view. Well, it's good for people that they can visit so many countries moreover, it's good for businesses too, thus, there's no doubt that it's a positive development. In terms of business, it's obvious that increasing tourist numbers is good for those people who live in a tourist place. They can get some job and earn money by giving any category of businesses. Such as a person who lives in a tourist place but doesn't have any skills to do any job then they can give a tea stall in a tourist place. So, that's how people can do some businesses in tourist places without having any skills. The countries are developing in the same way world tourists rate increased day by day. Of course, we didn't have that much way to visit other countries before as much we have now. Furthermore, technology has a huge impact on this that people can travel to any other countries in the world. Now, people want to be happy and enjoy their life visit all over the world to know about different cultures and meeting variety of people and know several kinds of people. To give a clear example, an Aussie trip to India for knowing the culture and people of this country. In conclusion, In the 21st-century people don't want any kind of unhappy they want to be happy always therefore in this century traveling in other countries rate increased significantly moreover without any hesitation it's a positive development.
The number of travelers has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
abroad over the decade It wasn't like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this decade. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to enjoy their life and
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visit
all the areas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
.
However
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
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people
didn't
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visit
all the
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places
in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
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visit
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for enjoying view. Well,
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it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
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people
that they can
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visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
moreover
,
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it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
too,
thus
, there's no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

In terms of
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business
,
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it's
obvious that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
numbers is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job and earn money by giving any category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. Such as a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
doesn't have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to do any job then they can give a tea stall in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
“So , that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, that
's how
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people
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
in
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tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
without having any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

The
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countries
are developing
in the same way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
day by day.
Of course
, we didn't have that much way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
as much we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Furthermore
, technology has a huge impact on this that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be happy and enjoy their life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and meeting variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and know several kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, an Aussie trip to India for knowing the culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of this country.

In conclusion
, In the 21st-century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
any kind of unhappy they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be happy always
therefore
in this century traveling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
significantly
moreover
without any hesitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
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IELTS essay More people are travelling to another countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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