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More government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects so that a country can develop and make progress

More government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects so that a country can develop and make progress N1Rq
In these days, more government should spent much money in teaching science rather than other subjects so that a country may develop and make progress. I totally agree with this view because investing money in teaching science can provide specialized experts in science field and it can turn well -deweloped country. To begin with, concentrating more attention in teaching science provide most specialized experts in science field. If the government want to develop science, they can supply with all of the opportunities such as well-equipped room and least technology also, best teachers who teach to the new generation. As a result, most of the intellagent children may appear in the science field. After these opportunitiea, people who are learning science might tend to make new inventions related to science, Meanwhile, If their inventions are successful, these inventions help countries to develop immediately. It is true that, countries which are spent money in teaching science may be well developed. Scientists can invent a lot of things which are useful and high quality. Researchs show that, In India, there are a lot of scientist who discovered very best quality medicines for all of the illnesses so their products are aknowladged by all af the country. Additionally, some of them visited our country in order to teach our experts many drugs which are invented by Indians scientists. In conclusion, Some countries which are expanding money in science are most dominant than other countries and it provides specialized experts in the society.
In these days, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
rather
than other subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may develop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
can provide specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
field and it can turn well
Possible spelling mistake found.
-deweloped
country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, concentrating more attention in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
provide most specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
field. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
want to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, they can supply with
Consider using "all the".
all of the
opportunities such
as well
-equipped room and least technology
also
A determiner is probably missing here: ", the best".
, best
teachers who teach to the new generation.
As a result
, most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
intellagent
children may appear in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
field. After these
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunitiea
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
might tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new inventions related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, Meanwhile, If their inventions are successful, these inventions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to develop immediately.

It is true that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
are spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
may be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
. Scientists can invent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things which are useful and high quality.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Researchs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that, In India, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun scientist seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of scientists".
a lot of scientist
who discovered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best quality medicines for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
illnesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their products are
Possible spelling mistake found.
aknowladged
by all
Possible spelling mistake found.
af
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them visited our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in order to teach our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drugs which
are invented
by Indians scientists.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
are most
Use "(dominant)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
dominant
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it provides specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
in the society.
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IELTS essay More government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects so that a country can develop and make progress

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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