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Economy movement is one of the important activities that is depended on by countries.

Economy movement is one of the important activities that is depended on by countries. d21r
Economy movement is one of the important activities that is depended on by countries. As it is known, there is a positive relationship between high salaries and levels of economic, so some people think that when they get good revenue, they can help to improve their countries' markets. on the other side, some of them believe that high incomes make negative effects on the societies in some way. In my opinion, I support the first trend and I am going to discuss both of these views. Having a big amount of money could help to make a strong economic system. First of all, having high earnings can encourage tourism side in the country. If employees have enough money, they might decide to have a vacation by travelling nearly during weekends or making reservations in some chalets. As a result, that will increase opportunities to get higher rate of supply and demand. In addition, people who have money more than their needs may get better chances to invest in different types of projects without loan from banks. For example, stocks and realty might be owned and invested by those owners. In short, when salaries are risen, the country's sources are going to extend too. Referring to the second view, other communities ask their governments to limit salaries of the public. That is because they see that make an unusual difference and classify the whole society. Moreover, that will create unfair opportunities when rich of them can own realties while normal people can not. Also, having too much money may create negative issues, that is since not all people can control theirs well. For instance, they might join the black market or they will get involved in illegal processes such as drugs. In summary, I tend to the first view whereas it is more logical than another. Owning much money from getting a high salary is going to make a better future for countries and people who live in.
Economy movement is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activities that
is depended
on by countries. As it
is known
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and levels of economic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
revenue, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their countries' markets.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
incomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the societies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way. In my opinion, I support the
first
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trend and
I am going to discuss both of these views.

Having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a strong economic system.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earnings can encourage tourism side in the country. If employees have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they might decide to have a vacation by travelling
nearly
during weekends or making reservations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chalets.
As a result
, that will increase opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher rate of supply and demand.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
more than their needs may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better chances to invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of projects without loan from banks.
For example
, stocks and realty might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
and invested by those owners. In short, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are risen
, the country's sources are going to extend too.

Referring to the second view, other communities ask their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of the public.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an unusual difference and classify the whole society.
Moreover
, that will create unfair opportunities when rich of them can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
realties
while normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not.
Also
, having too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues,
that is
since not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can control theirs well.
For instance
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the black
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market or
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in illegal processes such as drugs.

In summary, I tend to the
first
view whereas it is more logical than another. Owning much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a better future for countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
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IELTS essay Economy movement is one of the important activities that is depended on by countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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