Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more young people are studying and working overseas and this will bring about greater cooperation in the future.

More and more young people are studying and working overseas and this will bring about greater cooperation in the future. JYgek
It is a common trend these days that a lot of youth are going abroad for getting education and jobs. Some people believe that this phenomenon is bringing countries closer and they are helping each other whereas some people show concerns about it. In this essay both point of views will be evaluated. Developed countries are cooperating by offering their education institutions for the youth of developing countries against monetary benefits. Some countries lack of good education facilities. The youth from those countries go abroad to get higher education. Some of them return back to serve their country, whereas some like to have a job at the same place to enjoy better living standard alongside supporting their families back home. This not only benefits to individual but to economy of both the countries as well. This phenomenon is providing greater opportunities to understand different cultures and bringing inter society harmony and cooperation. Some people believe that this event of youth going overseas is causing brain drain, lesser availability of highly qualified people and to some extent changing the cultural values of individuals as well as the countries where they go to get higher education. Brain drain is a bigger issue of present day in developing or poorer countries. Highly educated people are not available to serve the country making it even harder for them to get on the path of development. Furthermore countries have shown concern about the cultural changes that are taking place in their societies because of people coming from different cultures. Weighing everything up it can be concluded that although young people are going abroad to get higher education and jobs for their personal and their country's interest which is bringing cooperation between countries it would be an ideal scenario if youth returns back to serve its own people.
It is a common trend these days that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are going abroad for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this phenomenon is bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
closer and
they are helping each other whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
concerns about it. In this essay both point of views will
be evaluated
.

Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are cooperating by offering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
against monetary benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
go abroad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
Consider using "return".
return back
to serve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
like to have a job at the same place to enjoy better living standard alongside supporting their families back home. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefits to individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to economy of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as well
. This phenomenon is providing greater opportunities to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and bringing inter society harmony and cooperation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
going overseas is causing brain drain, lesser availability of
highly
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent changing the cultural values of individuals
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where they go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Brain drain is a bigger issue of present day in developing or poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Highly
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not available to serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
making it even harder for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on the path of development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have shown concern about the cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that are taking place in their societies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.

Weighing everything up it can
be concluded
that although young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going abroad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and jobs for their personal and their country's interest which is bringing cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
it would be an ideal scenario if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
Consider using "returns".
returns back
to serve its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay More and more young people are studying and working overseas and this will bring about greater cooperation in the future.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • More and more young people are studying and working overseas and this will bring about greater cooperation in the future.