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More and more students decide to take-up part-time jobs.What are the advantages and disadvantages?

More and more students decide to take-up part-time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages? weNGq
Part-time work has many advantages and disadvantages. so students should consider both of these issues before deciding to take part-time jobs for their studies. This essay will discuss some of the pros and cons of this issue. Part-time jobs will bring many benefits to students. The first Working student can be partially financially self-sufficient. When those coins are earned by yourself, you will see a “value” that is different from the amount given. From here, you will also learn how to appreciate the hard work of yourself, your father and relatives. And maybe with the money earned and accumulated, you may have a profitable investment opportunity or know how to make a short-term - long-term financial plan for yourself. . . in terms of finances, it's better. Besides, you can pay bills, tuition fees, shop for necessary things and that will reduce the burden of studying costs for your parents. Facing finances early, you will be more mature every day so that when you leave the lecture hall, you can quickly integrate into the new environment. Next, the students have the opportunity to expand their relationships. With a part-time job, your relationships are no longer confined to school and family. You will meet many different people, have many other relationships such as colleagues, bosses, customers. . . There, there will be people to help, or someone to take advantage and put pressure on you. . . From there, you will learn how to look at people, distinguish good from bad and how to protect yourself. Instead of just focusing on books, going to a part-time job will make your life richer, helping you become more active. Exposure to many people, seeing many new things, directly experiencing life with a multi-dimensional perspective will help you understand and be more confident. A survey by Hanoi National University on 1, 000 students showed that up to 70% of students in this group work part-time and they feel they have learned a lot and are more mature. Everything in life has two sides and the same goes for work. It gives you many benefits, but it also has limitations. Part-time employees often do not receive benefits such as health insurance, sick leave, holiday pay, etc. If you are sick and on leave, you will not be paid. In addition, there is little job security for students. In bad times, companies often let them out of work before time runs out. According to statistics of the labor newspaper, after Hanoi experienced two months of social distancing because of gangsterism, up to 50% of part-time employees are unemployed.
Part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
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students
should consider both of these issues
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before
deciding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for their studies. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
pros and cons of this issue.

Part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
first
Working
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student
can be
partially
financially
self-sufficient. When those coins
are earned
by yourself, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a “value”
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. From here, you will
also
learn how to appreciate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of yourself, your father and relatives. And maybe with the money earned and accumulated, you may have a profitable investment opportunity or know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a short-term
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
long-term financial plan for yourself.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
terms of finances, it's better.
Besides
, you can pay bills, tuition fees, shop for necessary things and that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden of studying costs for your parents. Facing finances early, you will be more mature every day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the lecture hall, you can
quickly
integrate into the new environment.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the opportunity to expand their relationships. With a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, your relationships are no longer confined to school and family. You will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other relationships such as colleagues, bosses, customers.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
There, there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, or someone to take advantage and put pressure on you.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
From there, you will learn how to look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, distinguish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and how to protect yourself.
Instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focusing on books, going to a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your life richer, helping you become more active. Exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things,
directly
experiencing life with a multi-dimensional perspective will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you understand and be more confident. A survey by Hanoi National University on 1, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that up to 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in this group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
part-time and
they feel they have learned a lot and are more mature.

Everything in life has two sides and the same goes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It gives you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has limitations. Part-time employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not receive benefits such as health insurance, sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, holiday pay, etc. If you are sick and on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, you will not
be paid
.
In addition
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
times,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
time runs out. According to statistics of the labor newspaper, after Hanoi experienced two months of social distancing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
gangsterism
, up to 50% of part-time employees
are unemployed
.
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IELTS essay More and more students decide to take-up part-time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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