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More and more information about celebrities' lives is being exposed by the media. Discuss the cause of this social phenomenon and the negative effects

More and more information about celebrities' lives is being exposed by the media. Discuss the cause of this social phenomenon and the negative effects VYqGm
For the past centuries, the number of new celebrities across the globe has been increasing significantly. Hence, celebrities have been constantly exposed by the media such as newspapers and magazine. Due to this reason, the cause of this social phenomenon and the negative effects for the general public will be discussed further in this essay. To begin with, in this modern society, the media held a lot of information about everything that has happened all over the world including politics, nature, and celebrities’ lives. Moreover, the media will show anything as long as the interest toward those subjects kept increasing. A plethora of people have major interest in celebrities’ lives that they idolize. As a result, many media are taking a lot of advantages from people interest by having more celebrity news whether it is about their families or even their daily routines. In contrast, it brings many negative effects for the general public. Instead of giving usefull information, the media like to discuss a rumor of a certain celebrity. Therefore, people who wants to know about the natural disaster all over the globe cannot see the news. Furthermore, students who want to study online could be easily distracted by the news due to its clickbait headlines. In addition, there are some uneducated people who think that by following their favourite celebrities’ daily habits they can be as famous as them. This way many people would waste a big amount of money on unnecessary things instead of saving them for the future. To conclude, the media are taking advantage of our interest to make a lot of profit. Subsequently, many useful news are changed into unimportant news that wastes the public’s money and time.
For the past centuries, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
across the globe has been increasing
significantly
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have been
constantly
exposed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as newspapers and magazine. Due to this reason, the cause of this social phenomenon and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for the
Consider using "public".
general public
will
be discussed
further
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in this modern society, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
held
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information about everything that has happened all over the world including politics, nature, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
anything as long as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
toward those subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increasing. A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that they idolize.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
In English, people don't say "interest by'. They say, "interest in'. Did you mean "interest in"?
interest by
having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
whether it is about their families or even their daily routines.

In contrast
, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
Instead
of giving
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
information, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like to discuss a rumor of a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
wants
to know about the natural disaster all over the globe cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Furthermore
, students who want to study online could be
easily
distracted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
due to its clickbait headlines.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by following their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
daily habits they can be as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
as them. This way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would waste a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of money on unnecessary things
instead
of saving them for the future.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are taking advantage of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profit.
Subsequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
into unimportant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that wastes the public’s money and time.
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IELTS essay More and more information about celebrities' lives is being exposed by the media. Discuss the cause of this social phenomenon and the negative effects

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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