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more and more people using internet for shoping and talking with frineds. is it a negative or posiyive development?

more and more people using internet for shoping and talking with frineds. is it a negative or posiyive development? BMXkp
To commence with, there are number of teasons that why people prefer talking to other masses online. The first one is that nowadays people have their busy life schedule, so they do not have time to communicate with other people bu face to face. That's why they use online apps to interact with their friends or relatives and also they saved their time, because, some masses are living in the different part of the world, due to this they waste their most of the time, if they try to meet other people. I shared my personal experience for example, after secondary education my best friend went to canada for their higher study, so it is very difficult for me to communicate with hime, on that time I prefer online chat room for communication. Moving towards, I think it is negative development, because of some reasons, whic I shared in this paragraph. The first and formost is that people missed learn lots of skills. when they use gadgets for online communication, because, jn online they do not know the practical skills, which they learn by face to face talk. For example, due to covid19, students use online apps for jioning the classes owing to the fact they missed their lots of skills, which they have more need in future. Furthermore, they are also addicted by the isolation, because they only prefer online communication nor face to face communication. Due to this, the behaviour of user may also changed. To conclude, while there are number of reasons that why people interact online, I think it is negative development owing to same facts
To commence with, there are number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
teasons
that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer talking to other masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The
first
one is that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their busy life schedule,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Make sure that 'bu' is an abbreviation (bureau, bushel). Did you mean "by", "but", "bug", or "bus"?
bu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. That's why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
apps to interact with their friends or relatives and
also
they saved their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses are living in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world, due to this they waste their most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, if they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I shared my personal experience
for example
, after secondary education my best friend went to
Possible spelling mistake found.
canada
for their higher study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for me to communicate with
Possible spelling mistake found.
hime
, on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
chat room for communication.

Moving towards, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whic
I shared in this paragraph. The
first
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
missed learn lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gadgets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
jn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
they do not know the practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which they learn by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
talk.
For example
, due to
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid19
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
apps for
Possible spelling mistake found.
jioning
the classes owing to the fact they missed their lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which they have more need
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Furthermore
, they are
also
addicted by the isolation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
communication. Due to this, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of user may
also
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "change"
changed
.

To conclude
, while there are number of reasons that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development owing to same facts
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IELTS essay more and more people using internet for shoping and talking with frineds. is it a negative or posiyive development?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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