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more and more people getting children at very old age

more and more people getting children at very old age 8gOWV
Having children at big age is very common nowadays. Men and women are not giving birth to children at younger age as compare to the past and many countries are seeing increasing instance of these trends. Main reason for this is that people becoming more self-centered about their future. Which is why, we are facing a gap in younger and older generation in the society and nations are becoming old day by day. In this essay, I will be going to discuss the main reasons for this development and its effects on society. Firstly, Men and women both are working for better future as compare to past when only men were going out for a job. But it is a 21st century and even women have urges to accomplish something in their life before they can have children. Now, both gender are giving priority to their career rather than having babies. This has created upper age bracket of people, who are not having children. Furthermore, buying property is really costly in today scenario because of inflation. Due to this, people would not able to buy right house to raise their families which is a necessity. Moreover, it is really hard to raise a child if you are not financially stable. That’s why they wanted financial freedom before they start a family. We have a generation who is becoming old and still not interested in giving birth as we know that economy of country depends upon the age of the country if they have less young people to run the economy there will the shortage of skilled people. It will create lots of jobs with no one to take them. Secondly, if people will have children in older age they will face more health related problem which is going to create a burden on health care system. Take Japan for example who had recently spent around $10000000 on the fertility treatment just because older people wanted to start their family and their biological age hindrance in the natural process. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is very important to have children at right age so that society will not suffer
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common nowadays.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and women are not giving birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as compare to the past and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are seeing increasing instance of these trends. Main reason for this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
becoming more self-centered about their future. Which is why, we are facing a gap in younger and older generation in the society and nations are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
day by day. In this essay, I will be going to discuss the main reasons for this development and its effects on society.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and women both are working for better future as compare to past when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were going out for a job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is a 21st century and even women have urges to accomplish something in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, both gender are giving priority to their career
rather
than having babies. This has created upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
bracket of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who are not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Furthermore
, buying property is
really
costly in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
scenario
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inflation. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to raise their families which is a necessity.
Moreover
, it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to raise a child if you are not
financially
stable. That’s why they wanted financial freedom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a family.

We have a generation who is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
still
not interested in giving birth as we know that economy of country depends upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the country if they have less young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to run the economy there will the shortage of skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It will create lots of jobs with no one to take them.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they will face more health related problem which is going to create a burden on health care system. Take Japan
for example
who had recently spent around $10000000 on the fertility treatment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their family and their biological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
hindrance in the natural process.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that society will not suffer
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IELTS essay more and more people getting children at very old age

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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