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More and more people are shifting to cities from countryside .do this have advantages on environmental .

More and more people are shifting to cities from countryside. do this have advantages on environmental. B0DV
The world population is increasing day by day that's why the demand of resources are inclined. Therefore, nowadays a million of people move from one area to another due to the better education and other career prospects. However, I will discuss my views in the following sections. To commence with, there are several reasons of moving villages to cities. Firstly, towns are granted more opportunities such as better education, job selections and good life style also. In other words, in the past times rural areas are undeveloped so that the individuals of small region are not aware of education. Moreover, that time the most of parents immigration their children in cities for great educational institutions. Whereas, in these days rural areas are more development. Hence, folks shifting cities due to some great jobs and earnings money. Furthermore, metropolitan domains helpful for providing the greater work options. In addition, these regions are overcrowded because the most of the humans move from countryside to large areas. For instance, the Lovely professional University in which the different certain kinds of countries students are coming from studing there due to the quality of studies. On the other hand, urban sectors are more polluted sections. The population of cities suffering number of health related hazards due to the fact of immense pollution and huge crowd. In additionally, the living places of towns have more expensive than villages. A part from this, the persons of metropolis departments are Busy in their work and crowded city folks can feel extremely stressful. Besides this, the fewer green space in the towns because in which numerous factories have constructed. Thus, it effecting the environment. To conclude, although the cities are overcrowd effected the environment but towns awarded various options and facilities to local people.
The world population is increasing day by day that's why the demand of resources
are inclined
.
Therefore
, nowadays a million of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the better education and other career prospects.
However
, I will discuss my views in the following sections.

To commence with, there are several reasons of moving villages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are granted
more opportunities such as better education, job selections and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life style
also
.
In other words
, in the past times rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are undeveloped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the individuals of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
region are not aware of education.
Moreover
, that time the most of parents immigration their children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for great educational institutions.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, in these days rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are more development.
Hence
, folks shifting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great jobs and earnings money.

Furthermore
, metropolitan domains helpful for providing the greater work options.
In addition
, these regions
are overcrowded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the most of the humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from countryside to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, the Lovely professional University in which the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
certain kinds of countries students are coming from
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the quality of studies.

On the other hand
, urban sectors are more polluted sections. The population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
suffering number of health related hazards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact of immense pollution and huge crowd. In
additionally
, the living places of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
have more expensive than villages. A part from this, the persons of metropolis departments are Busy in their work and crowded city folks can feel
extremely
stressful.
Besides
this, the fewer green space in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in which numerous factories have constructed.
Thus
,
Did you mean "it's effecting", "it is effecting", or "it was effecting"?
it effecting
the environment.

To conclude
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
Consider using a past participle here: "overcrowded".
overcrowd
effected the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
awarded various options and facilities to local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

IELTS essay More and more people are shifting to cities from countryside. do this have advantages on environmental.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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