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More and more people are not balance their life between work and daily life. What are the causes? What are the solutions to balance their life?

More and more people are not balance their life between work and daily life. What are the causes? What are the solutions to balance their life? 7pKXX
In the prevailing scenario, majority of individuals are working and people should have balance their life between work as well as lifestyle. However, this essay will shed light on causes and solutions of above stated notion which is being elaborated in my impending textual. To commence with, it has insurmountable reasons why people are not balancing their life. Due to era of inflation, both parents are working and they want to live luxrious lifestyle and also to fulfill their basic requirements. Owing to this reason people are working for long hours. As a result, it leads to put highly impact on their children lifestyle as well as family relationship. For example, an article published in The Tribune magazine, in 2019 showed that in America, more than 45% of individuals are not spending their time with family members due to working for long hours. On the flip side, the feasible solution of this problem is that individuals should give quality time to their parents as well as children. Moreover, people should spend their weekend holidays, so that they can be given proper time to their parents and children. Therefore, it leads to put great impact on their individuals lifestyle as well as family members, they will not suffer from depression due to spend time with family members. For instance, the survey conducted in India which revealed in 2017, 41% of people spent their holidays with family members and overcome their stress and also relationship bond had strongest. To recapitulate, working for long hours seem to be an effective measure to fulfill their desire needs, but there are some feasible solutions are afforementioned to balance their work and life.
In the prevailing scenario,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have balance their life between work as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
However
, this essay will shed light on causes and solutions of above stated notion which is
being elaborated
in my impending textual.

To commence with, it has insurmountable reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not balancing their life. Due to era of inflation, both parents are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
luxrious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
also
to fulfill their basic requirements. Owing to this reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for long hours.
As a result
, it leads to put
highly
impact on their children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.
For example
, an article published in The Tribune magazine, in 2019
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in America, more than 45% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are not spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for long hours.

On the flip side, the feasible solution of this problem is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should give quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their parents as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as children.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend their weekend holidays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their parents and children.
Therefore
, it leads to put great impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, they will not suffer from depression due to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
For instance
, the survey conducted in India which revealed in 2017, 41% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent their holidays with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and overcome their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
also
relationship bond had strongest.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for long hours seem to be an effective measure to fulfill their desire needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions are
Possible spelling mistake found.
afforementioned
to balance their work and life.
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IELTS essay More and more people are not balance their life between work and daily life. What are the causes? What are the solutions to balance their life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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