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2, Some celebrations have lost their original meaning and these occasions have become too much about spending money. What could be done to change the situation?

2, Some celebrations have lost their original meaning and these occasions have become too much about spending money. What could be done to change the situation? r1nBo
Celebrating is considered as the time allowing people to share the joy in life as well as remember special memories in the past. However, there are a number of people spending too much money on the celebrations over necessary, which are becoming lost true meaning following the time. The main reason for this trend can become up to the advantages in the life of humans, and therefore people have to find solutions to this problem. As people live in a developing society with high incomes as well as a great amount of free time, they tend to enjoy more than in their life, celebrations particularly, however; this leads to a major problem that is spending too much money on organising these occasions. Through luxury parties or weddings, they want to show off their status and wealth but forget that its main purpose of having the celebrations. Consequently, they are not only losing value themselves, but people also have to cope with huge debts, be posed a burden to their finances, and waste money on unnecessary things which should have spent for crucial purposes. There are several ways that people could take to change the trend. A simple solution to this issue that is to raise awareness, knowledge to maintain cultural organisation with truth values as well as meanings, at the same time, people also need to understand the key reason of having the celebration, which is to enjoy the company of family members, and to share in the joy of the occasion but not the extravagance. That also can be achieved in another measure is controlling, spending reasonable amounts of money for each one. In conclusion, having said that celebrations are the times to cherish the important moments in the life of people, nowadays some seem to forget these original meanings and tend to spend too much unnecessary amount of money on them, which would cause the major matters related. Therefore, people should ensure these celebrations would not pose a burden to all present and would keep the focus on the joyous occasion.
Celebrating
is considered
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to share the joy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as remember special memories in the past.
However
, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
over necessary, which are becoming lost true meaning following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The main reason for this trend can become up to the advantages in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of humans, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find solutions to this problem.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a developing society with high incomes
as well
as a great amount of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they tend to enjoy more than in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
particularly
,
however
; this leads to a major problem
that is
spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
these occasions. Through luxury parties or weddings, they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their status and wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
forget that its main purpose of having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
.
Consequently
, they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
losing value themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with huge debts,
be posed
a burden to their finances, and waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary things which should have spent for crucial purposes.

There are several ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could take to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the trend. A simple solution to this issue
that is
to raise awareness, knowledge to maintain cultural
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
with truth values
as well
as meanings, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
need to understand the key reason of having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
, which is to enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of family members, and to share in the joy of the occasion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the extravagance. That
also
can
be achieved
in another measure is controlling, spending reasonable amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for each one.

In conclusion
, having said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to cherish the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
moments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
seem to forget these original meanings and tend to spend too much unnecessary amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on them, which would cause the major matters related.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should ensure these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
would not pose a burden to all present and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the focus on the joyous occasion.

IELTS essay 2, Some celebrations have lost their original meaning and these occasions have become too much about spending money. What could be done to change the situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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