Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

MORE AND MORE CHILDREN ARE BECOMING OBESE, WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS AND WHAT ARE THE EFFECT.

MORE AND MORE CHILDREN ARE BECOMING OBESE, WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS AND WHAT ARE THE EFFECT. nXwVP
CHILDREN OBESITY IS A COMPLEX HEALTH ISSUE, IT OCCURS WHEN A CHILD IS WELL ABOVE THE NORMAL OR HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR their AGE AND HEIGHT. THE REASONS OF EXCESS WEIGHT GAIN IN YOUNG PEOPLE ARE SIMILAR TO THOSE IN ADULTS. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE SOURCES AND OUTCOME OF GAINING WEIGHT IN YOUNGSTERS. TO BEGIN WITH, THE PRIMARY ROOT OF OBESITY IN toddler IS FOOD HABIT. EATING HIGH CALORIES, LOW NUTRIENT FOODS AND BEVERAGES CAN INCREASE THE WEIGHT IN UNHEALTHY WAY. FOR INSTANCE, SOME MOTHERS ARE SO CONCERN ABOUT THEIR CHILD PHYSICAL FITNESS FOR THAT THEY FORCE THEIR BABIES AND CROSS OVEREATING THRESHOLD WITHOUT REALISING STOMACH'S CAPACITY. BY THIS ACTION PF PARENTS KIDS START GAINING WEIGHT AND BECOME OBESE. FURTHERMORE, NOT GETTING INVOLVE IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES AND SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SEDENTARY ACTIVITIES SUCH AS WATCHING TV OR OTHER SCREEN DEVICES CAN LEAD TO UNHEALTHY WEIGHT. BEING MORE PHYSICALLY ACTIVE CAN HELP CHILDREN GROW AND MAINTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT. CALORIES BURNS IN ACTIVITIES PLAYS A ROLE IN PREVENTING EXCESS WEIGHT GAIN. IN THE END, EATING TOO MUCH AND STAYING PHYSICALLY INACTIVE CAN TURN OUT TO ADIPOSITY AND WHICH MAY CAUSE TO MANY HEALTH ISSUES SUCH AS TYPE II DIABETES, HEART DISEASE, SHORTNESS OF BREATH AND SOME CANCER ETC. IN CONCLUSION, IT CAN SAID THAT POOR DIET AND LACK OF EXERCISE ARE THE MAIN CAUSE OF OBESITY AMONG CHILDREN AND THESE MAY RESULTS IN SERIOUS PHYSIOLOGICAL AND PSYCOLOGICAL PROBLEM TO HEALTH. CONSEQUENTLY ADULTS EDUCATE THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT HEALTHY FOOD HABITS AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO JOIN IN SPORTS TO MAINTAIN THEIR HEALTH.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
OBESITY IS A COMPLEX
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
ISSUE, IT OCCURS WHEN A CHILD IS WELL ABOVE THE NORMAL OR HEALTHY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
FOR their AGE AND HEIGHT. THE REASONS OF EXCESS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
GAIN IN YOUNG
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
ARE SIMILAR TO THOSE IN ADULTS. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE SOURCES AND OUTCOME OF GAINING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
IN YOUNGSTERS.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
WITH, THE PRIMARY ROOT OF OBESITY IN toddler IS FOOD HABIT. EATING HIGH CALORIES, LOW NUTRIENT FOODS AND BEVERAGES CAN INCREASE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
IN UNHEALTHY WAY.
FOR INSTANCE
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
MOTHERS ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
Consider using a past participle here: "concerned".
CONCERN
ABOUT THEIR CHILD PHYSICAL FITNESS FOR THAT THEY FORCE THEIR BABIES AND CROSS OVEREATING THRESHOLD WITHOUT
Possible spelling mistake. 'REALISING' is British English.
REALISING
STOMACH'S CAPACITY. BY THIS ACTION PF PARENTS KIDS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
GAINING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
AND BECOME OBESE.
FURTHERMORE
, NOT GETTING INVOLVE IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES AND SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SEDENTARY ACTIVITIES SUCH AS WATCHING TV OR OTHER SCREEN DEVICES CAN LEAD TO UNHEALTHY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
. BEING MORE
PHYSICALLY
ACTIVE CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
GROW AND MAINTAIN A HEALTHY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "calorie BURNS", "calory BURNS".
CALORIES BURNS
IN ACTIVITIES PLAYS A ROLE IN PREVENTING EXCESS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WEIGHT
GAIN.

IN THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
, EATING TOO MUCH AND STAYING
PHYSICALLY
INACTIVE CAN TURN OUT TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADIPOSITY
AND WHICH MAY CAUSE TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
ISSUES SUCH AS TYPE II DIABETES, HEART DISEASE, SHORTNESS OF BREATH AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
CANCER ETC.

IN CONCLUSION
, IT CAN
The verb 'CAN' requires the base form of the verb: "say"
SAID
THAT POOR DIET AND LACK OF EXERCISE ARE THE MAIN CAUSE OF OBESITY AMONG
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
AND THESE MAY RESULTS IN SERIOUS PHYSIOLOGICAL AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
PSYCOLOGICAL
PROBLEM TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
CONSEQUENTLY
ADULTS EDUCATE THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
ABOUT HEALTHY FOOD HABITS AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
JOIN
IN SPORTS TO MAINTAIN THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay MORE AND MORE CHILDREN ARE BECOMING OBESE, WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS AND WHAT ARE THE EFFECT.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts