Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more adults are spending time playing computer games. Why are adults doing so? Is it good or bad?

More and more adults are spending time playing computer games. Why are adults doing so? Is it good or bad? 7aPeA
Nowdays, video games are becoming favourite part of developed people. it is shown in the recent study that 70% of mature population spend time on these games. It is good to play games until it does not become an addiction. There are many reasons that people spend time on playing games. This is true that it acts as stress buster. With the hectic schedule of dailiy living like job, responsbilities and demands of family people feel stressfull. Thus, playing video games relaxes their mind from stress. Also, human mind become bore from the same routine of living. Thus, games help them to divert their mind from boredum and stop causing stress fir their mind. However, an addiction of computer games can cause more problems for themselves and for their families. Firstly, it affects to pay concentration on their work thus this furthur leads to other problems like termination from job and family problems. Loved ones will get upset and unhappy when the family member is spending most of the time on games instead of giving time to them. Secondly, the main problem is Health problem. People can get neck pain, dry eyes, headache and more problems by spending more time on screen. If a person already lost his job just because of this addiction then it will become hard for them to get health care. To sum up, video game addiction is just not a problems of adults but also bad for teenagers. These games are isolating people from their families and from responsbilities. Mainly, it puts a bad effect on their living.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
, video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are becoming
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
part of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is shown
in the recent study that 70% of mature population spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
until it does not become an addiction.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This is true that it acts as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster. With the hectic schedule of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dailiy
living like job,
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsbilities
and demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressfull
.
Thus
, playing video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
relaxes their mind from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Also
, human mind become bore from the same routine of living.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to divert their mind from
Possible spelling mistake found.
boredum
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
causing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
fir their mind.

However
, an addiction of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can cause more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for themselves and for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Firstly
, it affects to pay concentration on their work
thus
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthur
leads to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like termination from job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Loved
ones will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
upset and unhappy when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member is spending most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
instead
of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to them.
Secondly
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
neck pain, dry eyes, headache and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on screen. If a person already lost his job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
because of this
addiction then it will become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
health care.

To sum up, video game addiction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are isolating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and from
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsbilities
.
Mainly
, it puts a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on their living.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay More and more adults are spending time playing computer games. Why are adults doing so? Is it good or bad?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • More and more adults are spending time playing computer games. Why are adults doing so? Is it good or bad?