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MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE SPENDIN TIME PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES. WHY ARE ADULTS DOING SO? IS IT GOOD OR BAD.

MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE SPENDIN TIME PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES. WHY ARE ADULTS DOING SO? IS IT GOOD OR BAD. q55kG
MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE SPENDING TIME PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES. WHY ARE ADULTS DOING SO? IS IT GOOD OR BAD? It is true that in the contemporary era more and more grown-up person spending time to plays video games. This essay will explicate some negative and positive impacts in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are multifarious reasons behind playing a video game. First and foremost is the in the fast pace of life people are working long hours to achieve more. To explain it, people who working day and night need some rest after coming back home. Consequently, spend little time to refresh their time such as playing a video game, mobile phone, and television. For example, a survey was conducted by the London university found that 60% developed person spends their entire time on video games rather than doing study and other things. Thus, the video game is the best way to revitalize himself. On the other hand, the video game is improving the everyday skills. To explicate it, playing video games has been enhancing hand-eye coordination, lengthen attention spans and improve working memory and helps in rapid making decision the American study show that who people playing a game on daily 2 to 3 hour. They can multitasking and reduce the many mental problems that occur. Hence, playing games more cruical for brain development. To conclusion, although playing game decline many problems along with its also help in concentration better and development of social skills and mental health.
MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE SPENDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PLAYING
COMPUTER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GAMES
. WHY ARE ADULTS DOING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
? IS IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
OR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BAD
?

It is true that in the contemporary era more and more grown-up person spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to plays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will explicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are multifarious reasons behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game.
First
and foremost is the in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working long hours to achieve more. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who working day and night need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest after coming back home.
Consequently
, spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to refresh their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game, mobile phone, and television.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
by the London university found that 60% developed person spends their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than doing study and other things.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game is the best way to revitalize himself.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game is improving the everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To explicate it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has been enhancing hand-eye coordination, lengthen attention spans and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
working memory and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in rapid making decision the American study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a game on daily 2 to 3
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
. They
The word 'multitasking' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can multitasking
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mental problems that occur.

Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
cruical
for brain development.

To conclusion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
game decline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems along with its
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in concentration better and development of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and mental health.
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IELTS essay MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE SPENDIN TIME PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES. WHY ARE ADULTS DOING SO? IS IT GOOD OR BAD.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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