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Money is the only reason why people work hard. Do you disagree or agree.

Money is the only reason why people work hard. Do you disagree or agree. 15AVG
It is sometimes argued that salary is the only reason of working hard, while it is true to a certain extent, i believe that there are other that draw people to work harder. On the one hand, it is undenied that money plays an important role in our daily lives we all need money to cover basis needs, pay for hobbies or dwell the ourselves and no one aspect of these can done without money. For example, In some countries, such as Japan, Korean where a fixed amount of money is paid per unit of work which leads employees work so hard. Moreover, the work with high salary will attract more employees to apply. On the other hand, I believe that there are another elements which encourage people to toil such as the pleasure of work and job satisfaction. Volunteer works are the finest example that show people not only work for earning living, but some other meaningful reasons. They just want to contribute something positive to society. Additionally, there are many people like young doctors who travel to undeveloped countries to cure patients b receiving lower salary than in their own countries. Via working in other countries can improve their skills in their fields and get good reputation when returning their countries. Therefore, experience and unabated enthusiasm are what make people want to work hard. In conclusion, while salaries is pivotal key to encourage more hard-working employees, I completely believe that there are other reasons affecting worker's attitude in working.
It is
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sometimes
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, while it is true to a certain extent,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that there are
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other
that draw
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people
to
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work
harder.

On the one hand, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undenied
that
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money
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
we all need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cover basis needs, pay for hobbies or dwell
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "ourselves"?
the ourselves
and no one aspect of
Did you mean "this can" or "these cans"?
these can
done without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as Japan, Korean where a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is paid
per unit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which leads employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Moreover
, the
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work
with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
will attract more employees to apply.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe that there are another elements which encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to toil such as the pleasure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and job satisfaction. Volunteer works are the finest example that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for earning living,
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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other
meaningful reasons. They
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just
want to contribute something
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positive
to society.
Additionally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like young doctors who travel to undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to cure patients b receiving lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
than in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Via working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their fields and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation when returning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, experience and unabated enthusiasm are what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is pivotal key to encourage more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working employees, I completely believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons affecting worker's attitude in working.
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IELTS essay Money is the only reason why people work hard. Do you disagree or agree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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