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Money is more important than people's lives

Money is more important than people's lives k59y2
Money has a control with a general impact on people’s life. On the other hand, it isn’t something that can bring us happiness all the time although it can provide in many ways with other aspects. The very first fact is truly financial balance that takes part in our people life. It provides some works for people to make better of themselves such as supporting children’s lifestyle, education and their interests of hobbies and to help them understand in which kind of life and situation they are in. The next one is led to the support of health care operations. For an example, in some regions, a well-off person will be ahead reaching of the necessary and excellent health care system in a hospital or in some medical occasions. It can also be looked into another way in a very negative instance like if they are bind with poverty. So, money can be also necessary and useful in many situations and other interests and activities such as travelling and purchasing luxury brands and accessories. As for deeper information, people with incredible financial privilege are also in tight hands for the happiness all the time. Money cannot feature a family and friends which have a great action on everyone. In situations such as when someone is going through a difficult matter, having their backs mean a lot and being together with people also includes. And that’s where money is not on the top of priority and it is where we just help with each other and find happiness as a better value rather. In finale, money is in a low option and cannot provide with such complete value for a good life even it can bring properties wealthy to a countless limit.
Money
has a control with a general impact on
people’s
life
. On the
other
hand, it isn’t something that can bring us happiness all the time although it can provide in
many
ways with
other
aspects.

The
very
first
fact is
truly
financial balance that
takes part
in our
people
life
. It provides
some
works for
people
to
make
better of themselves such as supporting children’s lifestyle, education and their interests of hobbies and to
help
them understand in which kind of
life
and situation they are in. The
next
one
is led
to the support of health care operations. For an example, in
some
regions, a well-off person will be ahead reaching of the necessary and excellent health care system in a hospital or in
some
medical occasions. It can
also
be looked
into another way in a
very
negative
instance like if they are bind with poverty.
So
,
money
can be
also
necessary and useful in
many
situations and
other
interests and activities such as travelling and purchasing luxury brands and accessories.

As for deeper information,
people
with incredible financial privilege are
also
in tight hands for the happiness all the time.
Money
cannot feature a family and friends which have a great action on everyone. In situations such as when someone is going through a difficult matter, having their backs mean a lot and being together with
people
also
includes. And that’s where
money
is not on the top of priority and it is where we
just
help
with each
other
and find happiness as a better value
rather
.

In finale,
money
is in a low option and cannot provide with such complete value for a
good
life
even it can bring properties wealthy to a countless limit.
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IELTS essay Money is more important than people's lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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