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Money is important or not

Money is important or not kWy7d
Happiness is subjective, it only deals with individuals minds prospective. Currently, there is a contentious arugement over whether money plays a essential role to live with this notion, due to the fact it provide a boost to reside a luxurious lifestyle. The principle reason to belive because lives in a red - handed is being miserable sometimes. Whatever, the desire in mind was remain as it is and never comes in reality. For instance, if I have the power i can buy the things of my choice without think of it twice. Another cogent concur to bloster this point is hungry people, who did not get the food from past few days, this creates his entire day and that smile is precious as well as incomparable with anything. To illustrate this, visit in over crowed colony, there existence and empty stomach shows the authentic value of wealth. In contrary, some relevant issues for the trend can not be ignored. Firstly, the love, care, affection are not buyable products. Their importance only understands when person is in depression as well as in trauma. Consequently, a wage unable to take out however a minaute careness towards them depict a great transformation. Besides, a delight life is spend only by fondness. To conclude, I opine that on few circumstances such as hungerness, willingness, money work as a key role, can be relied upon particularly for this reason stated. However, judge the situation either its care or wage only by this necessity is conveniently understandable.
Happiness is subjective, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
deals with individuals minds prospective.
Currently
, there is a contentious
Possible spelling mistake found.
arugement
over whether money plays
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
essential role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with this notion, due to the fact it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
a boost to reside a luxurious lifestyle.

The
Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
reason
Did you mean "to believe"?
to belive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a red
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
handed is being miserable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. Whatever, the desire in mind was
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
as it is and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in reality.
For instance
, if I have the power
Did you mean "I"?
i
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things of my choice without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it twice. Another cogent concur to
Possible spelling mistake found.
bloster
this point is hungry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the food from past few days, this creates his entire day and that smile is precious
as well
as incomparable with anything. To illustrate this, visit in over crowed colony, there existence and empty stomach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the authentic value of wealth.

In contrary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant issues for the trend can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, care, affection are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
buyable
products. Their importance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
understands when person is in depression
as well
as in trauma.
Consequently
, a wage unable to take out
however
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
minaute
Possible spelling mistake found.
careness
towards them depict a great transformation.
Besides
, a delight life is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by fondness.

To conclude
, I opine that on few circumstances such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
hungerness
, willingness, money work as a key role, can
be relied
upon
particularly
for this reason
stated.
However
, judge the situation either its care or wage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by this necessity is
conveniently
understandable.
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IELTS essay Money is important or not

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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