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Money cannot buy happiness. Why it us difficult to define happiness? How can people achieve happiness?

Money cannot buy happiness. Why it us difficult to define happiness? How can people achieve happiness? pVQD
Many people believe that money is not the only source of happiness. Actually it us really so hard to define happiness, because it varies person to person. People can be happy by many ways. The definition of happiness is not similar to everyone. Every person has his own demand and satisfaction. Generally, when people can fulfill their demands and be satisfied, they measure it as happiness. But people be pleased in their own different ways. For example, playing cricket with my friends make me more happy rather than anything while my best friend always try to help the poor for his self-satisfaction. As a result, I feel happy after playing cricket whereas my friend becomes happy by helping others. People can be happy by his own afford or other’s activities, such as a son can make his parents happy by making good result. It is also true that bright performance can bring happiness to a performer along with his well wishers. In some cases, people work hard to earn more money ro be happy, but they cannot be happy end of the day. A rich person, for instance, has a lot of money, but he is sick. So, a healthy life is also a factor of happiness. In conclusion, money is not the only source of happiness though many search happiness on money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
believe that
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money
is not the
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only
source of
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happiness
. Actually it us
really
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so
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hard
to define
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happiness
,
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because
it varies
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person
to
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person
.
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People
can be
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happy
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

The definition of
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happiness
is not similar to everyone. Every
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person
has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
demand and satisfaction.
Generally
, when
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people
can fulfill their demands and
be satisfied
, they measure it as
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happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
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people
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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different
ways.
For example
, playing cricket with my friends
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make
me more
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happy
rather
than anything while my best friend always try to
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help
the poor for his self-satisfaction.
As a result
, I feel
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happy
after playing cricket whereas my friend becomes
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happy
by helping others.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can be
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happy
by his
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own
afford or other’s activities, such as a son can
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make
his parents
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happy
by making
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good
result. It is
also
true that bright performance can bring
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happiness
to a performer along with his
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well wishers
. In
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some
cases,
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people
work
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hard
to earn more
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money
Possible spelling mistake found.
ro
be
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happy
,
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but
they cannot be
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happy
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end
of the day. A rich
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person
,
for instance
, has
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a lot of
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money
,
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but
he is sick.
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So
, a healthy life is
also
a factor of happiness.

In conclusion
,
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money
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay Money cannot buy happiness. Why it us difficult to define happiness? How can people achieve happiness?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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