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Modern technology give us more time. Agree or dissadgree?

Modern technology give us more time. Agree or dissadgree? j5DPy
It is irrefutable that the proliferation of modern technology has drastically reshaped the functional nature of humanity. There arises a highly controversial topic of general interest whether we have more leisure time by the advances of technology. From where I stand, I do agree with the aforementioned notion to some valid extent and reasons supporting my perspective will be explored as below. On the one hand, it is fairly understandable why a school of thought endorses modern technology to give more time. First and foremost, the key rationale in favor of this view is the availability of online courses. Not everyone has enough facilities to attend offline classes because of time constraints or geographic boundaries. The invention of online's class ward off these hindrances. Now people can enroll in online programs or take single classes without having to leave home. Another compelling justification is that easier to find out an enormous knowledge. With the appearance of advanced technology, Doing research was cumbersome and time-consuming in the past. We would have to go to a library to research books or dictionaries. In this day and age, the appearance of advanced technology such as the internet, digital dictionaries. We have no trouble finding multiple sources to verify that the information you obtain is as accurate. On the other hand, modern technology is of uttermost importance for a host of daily life. For all people, especially for women, housework was a nightmare that taking a score of time. However, the invention of the washing machine and the dishwasher make a dream come true. These devices not only have eliminated the need to do routine cleaning tasks by hand or conventional methods but also not take too much time. Moreover, transportation improvements help people easier to get from one place to another safer and faster as well. Subway is an example, this help people save money and also save time, this still is keeping improvement In conclusion, even though advancement technology engendered many problems, I contend that it brings plenty of time for humanity.
It is irrefutable that the proliferation of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
drastically
reshaped the functional nature of humanity. There arises a
highly
controversial topic of general interest whether we have more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by the advances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. From where I stand, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the aforementioned notion to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid extent and reasons supporting my perspective will
be explored
as below.

On the one hand, it is
fairly
understandable why a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
endorses modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
First
and foremost, the key rationale in favor of this view is the availability of online courses. Not everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
facilities to attend offline classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
constraints or geographic boundaries. The invention of online's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
ward off these hindrances.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enroll in online programs or take single classes without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home. Another compelling justification is that easier to find out an enormous knowledge. With the appearance of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, Doing research was cumbersome and time-consuming in the past. We would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to a library to research books or dictionaries. In this day and age, the appearance of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as the internet, digital dictionaries. We have no trouble finding multiple sources to verify that the information you obtain is as accurate.

On the other hand
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is of uttermost importance for a host of daily life. For all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
for women, housework was a nightmare that taking a score of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, the invention of the washing machine and the dishwasher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true. These devices not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have eliminated the need to do routine cleaning tasks by hand or conventional methods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
not take too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
,

transportation improvements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from one place to another safer and faster
as well
. Subway is an example, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save money and
also
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, this
still
is keeping
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
improvement


In conclusion
,
even though
advancement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
engendered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems, I contend that it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for humanity.
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IELTS essay Modern technology give us more time. Agree or dissadgree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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