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Modern music is an incredible popular all over the world.

Modern music is an incredible popular all over the world. m116q
Modern music is an incredible popular all over the world. Some think that it might open the door of the hell, other say that, this is the road that helps to reach the top of the mountain. Both approach accepts that it has a numerous way to influence on young generation. In my mind, modern music try to make our life more tasty. Young people, especially teenagers, like listening various type of music to get help from them while they are exploring their self. Modern music is the top of their list since it has including rebellious elements. The question is that why they chose to listening modern music. The main cause of this, they think that if you are young, being a rebellion against your family rules is an avoidable. Expression to their feeling against to authority sometimes is difficult for them, so that they prefer to not express their self, only demonstrate their preferences by music. In their perspective, it helps them to survive in such a brutal world. Other reason that most young people are a daydreamer. They might chose to live in unrealistic world with music sounds. They want to obtain many precious items without making any effort to have them. Modern musics helps them to think everything is possible. On the hand this, yes, everything is possible, if you believe that thought! Modern music help them to develop their creativity and subconsciously motivate them to every dream would be come through. This idea lead to explore the limits of their innovative skills which occurs due to thinking out of box! Creativity is the key factor of being more happy and having a rich life style. Moreover, modern music lyrics also manipulate them to being an independent in order to obtain all opportunities and open all closed doors in front of them. All in all, to my mind, modern music does not provide them having more acceptable life style. all negative impacts which have been shared in essay are acceptable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an incredible popular all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it might open the door of the hell, other say that, this is the road that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to reach the top of the mountain. Both approach accepts that it has a numerous way to influence on young generation. In my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life more tasty.

Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, like listening various type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from them while they are exploring their self.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the top of their list since it has including rebellious elements. The question is that why they chose to listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The main cause of this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if you are young, being a rebellion against your family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
is
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an avoidable
. Expression to their feeling against to authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is difficult for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they prefer to not express their self,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
demonstrate their preferences by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In their perspective, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to survive in such a brutal world. Other reason that most young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are a daydreamer. They might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "choose"
chose
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in unrealistic world with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sounds. They want to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
precious items without making any effort to have them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everything is possible.

On the hand this, yes, everything is possible, if you believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
!
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to develop their creativity and
subconsciously
motivate them to every dream would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
through. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
lead to explore the limits of their innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which occurs due to thinking out of box! Creativity is the key factor of being more happy and having a rich life style.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lyrics
also
manipulate them to
Did you mean "be"?
being
an independent in order to obtain all opportunities and open all closed doors in front of them.

All in all, to my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not provide them having more acceptable life style.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts which have
been shared
in essay are acceptable.
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IELTS essay Modern music is an incredible popular all over the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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