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Modern music is an incredible popular all over the world.

Modern music is an incredible popular all over the world. pRR60
Nowadays companies collect all sorts of information from customers activities in order to make a consumer profile. There are undeniable negative and positive consequences for both collecting and not collecting this information. As we know, companies need to collect data to improve their quality system to meet the customer's expectations and needs. Regulating this practice may be necessary because customer information is often stolen and used dishonestly. Most companies need to have the consumer's information in order to create an exciting product in the market. Innovation is an unavoidable key factor for being a competitive company. Undoubtedly, collecting data from customers and analyzing them is the way to survive in the current economic system. It is an avoidable practice to make customer profiles that provide data for strategic planning. From this perspective, companies have to ask their customers many questions such as: where they live, how old they are, and what they do with their purchases. All responses they received help them to decide the company objectives. It seems reasonable that companies should be allowed to collect the data they need to improve their products. Unfortunately, customer data collection does not always lead to such a positive outcomes. This methods sometimes fails because of Cyber attacks done by hackers who steal people's information for negative purposes from the company database. There are numerous well know examples showing how customers became victims due to sharing of their personal information with third parties. Moreover, some companies sell their data to other companies, such as insurance and medical devices without disclosing this practice to consumers.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
collect all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
activities in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a consumer profile. There are undeniable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences for both collecting and not collecting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. As we know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the customer's expectations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. Regulating this practice may be necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stolen and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
dishonestly
.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have the consumer's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in order to create an exciting product in the market. Innovation is an unavoidable key factor for being a competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Undoubtedly
, collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and analyzing them is the way to survive in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
economic system. It is an avoidable practice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
profiles that provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
for strategic planning. From this perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ask their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions such as: where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
they are, and what they do with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. All responses they received
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to decide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
objectives. It seems reasonable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to collect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their products.

Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
collection does not always lead to such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "outcome"?
outcomes
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
fails
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of Cyber attacks done by hackers who steal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
purposes from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
database. There are numerous
Did you mean "well-known"?
well know
examples showing how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
became victims due to sharing of their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with third parties.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, such as insurance and medical devices without disclosing this practice to consumers.
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IELTS essay Modern music is an incredible popular all over the world.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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