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Modern life is becoming more and more stressful, and many people now suffer from stress-relatcd illnesses. What are the cases of this stress, and what can be done to overcome the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Modern life is becoming more and more stressful, and many people now suffer from stress-relatcd illnesses. What are the cases of this stress, and what can be done to overcome the problem? yLdq3
These days life, in general, is faster, busier and more demanding than in the past. People are expected to work longer hours and achieve more in their careers. In this essay, I will loɔk at how this affects people's everyday lives and in particular, how this affects their health. In my opinion, there are two major factors that cause stress inside and outside of work. Firstly I will look at the pressure at work. Inside work, people are being asked to be more and more competitive. They have competition from inside their company - from people under them working for promotion; they also have competition from other companies. In addition, there is competition from companies in other countries. All of these lead to longer working hours, increased pressure and increased stress. If this is hard for men, it is twice as hard for women who work as they also have to look after a family. Secondly, I will talk about the demands outside work. Increasingly, better communication means that advertisers and other people can persuade us into buying things that we perhaps cannot afford or do not require. The problem is that when a product becomes fashionable, people's children would like to have one and this places more pressure on parents to buy these things so that even at home where people should be able to relax, there is still pressure and stress. In my view, there are no easy solutions to this. People need to make time for themselves in their private life and to make sure that their working life does not take up valuable family time. Another way of helping with stress is to do regular exercise and eat well. However, in my opinion, the main way of keeping stress to a minimal, management level is to keep work at work and private time separate.
These
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
life,
in general
, is faster, busier and more demanding than in the past.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
longer hours and achieve more in their careers. In this essay, I will
Possible spelling mistake found.
loɔk
at how this affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
in particular
, how this affects their health.

In my opinion, there are two major factors that cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
inside and outside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Firstly
I will look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being asked
to be more and more competitive. They have competition from inside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under them working for promotion; they
also
have competition from other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
In addition
, there is competition from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in other countries. All of these lead to longer working hours, increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. If this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, it is twice as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for women who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look after a family.

Secondly
, I will talk about the demands outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Increasingly
, better communication means that advertisers and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can persuade us into buying things that we perhaps cannot afford or do not require. The problem is that when a product becomes fashionable,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's children would like to have one and this places more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that even at home where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be able to relax, there is
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In my view, there are no easy solutions to this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
time for themselves in their private life and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their working life does not take up valuable family time. Another way of helping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is to do regular exercise and eat well.
However
, in my opinion, the main way of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
to a minimal, management level is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and private time separate.
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IELTS essay Modern life is becoming more and more stressful, and many people now suffer from stress-relatcd illnesses. What are the cases of this stress, and what can be done to overcome the problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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