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Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advancement of technology makes plenty of people can communicate with others via email or text. Although some people think that this development give harmful effect for people because they have less time to socialize with their close friends, I believe it is not fully true. People think that the new ways of communication cause detrimental impact on human social live. This because most people prefer keep in touch with other people include their family members and their best friend by sending message or email than making a physical meeting with them or gathering together in one place to talk or share their problems. For example, a person can greet her friend by writing greeting message even though she do not attend to her birthday party. This fact prove that it make people have lack of social experiences. However, this reason is not utterly acceptable because this sophisticated form of communication also offer many advantages in social relationship among communities. People living far away from their relatives can contact them regularly without squandering too much time and high cost. For example, an Indonesian student who is studying in Canada can tell his information by transmitting an email or a short message service (SMS) to his parents. It is more efficient, fast and cheap than he calls them by phone or send letter. Another benefit of modern communication method is most people obtain simplicity to spread information or news to other population because message or text on email or SMS may be copied, as the result they are not necessary to retype again the similar messages. To conclude, the advanced way of communication has the bad effect for our social life, but it also provide some merits for society. As long as people can control its bad impact, they will gain lots of positive effect of this.
Advancement of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with others via email or text. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this development give harmful effect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have less time to socialize with their close friends, I believe it is not
fully
true.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the new ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
cause detrimental impact on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
include their family members and their best friend by sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
or email than making a physical meeting with them or gathering together in one place to talk or share their problems.
For example
, a person can greet her friend by writing greeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
even though
she
The pronoun ‘she’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “does”, “did”.
do
not attend to her birthday party. This fact
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “proves”.
prove
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
experiences.

However
, this reason is not
utterly
acceptable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this sophisticated form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
also
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relationship among communities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
living far away from their relatives can contact them
regularly
without squandering too much time and high cost.
For example
, an Indonesian student who is studying in Canada can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
his information by transmitting an email or a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
service (SMS) to his parents. It is more efficient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
than he calls them by phone or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
letter. Another benefit of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
method is most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
obtain simplicity to spread information or news to other population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
or text on email or SMS may
be copied
, as the result they are not necessary to retype again the similar messages.

To conclude
, the advanced way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “provides”.
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits for society. As long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can control its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact, they will gain lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect of this.
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IELTS essay Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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