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microcredit and it s failure

microcredit and it s failure KwYw9
The reading passage is providing an outline about the experiment carried by Muhammad Yunus who was an economist. On the contrary the lecture dscribes the causes of the unsuccefulness associated with microcredit. First of all, although the lecture supports the idea from the passage that it is a good process to help the poor people for starting a business, yet it is not successful for eliminating poverty because 200 countries need the microcredit whereas only 50 countries are able to have this facility. Secondly, the professor adds further information about the failure of the microcredit by pointing out that many poor people are physically and mentally not able to be productive. Hence, the loan is not useful for them to invest for the production. Finally, she emphasizes that it is more necessary to invest on health care, sanitation and microcredit as well, as a result they can be productive. The lecture further adds to the funding of the microcredit so that the cost of the microcredit could be free for the poor people because it is offering low cost but not free.
The reading passage is providing an outline about the experiment carried by Muhammad
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yunus
who was an economist.
On the contrary
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lecture dscribes
the causes of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsuccefulness
associated with
Possible spelling mistake found.
microcredit
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, although the lecture supports the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
from the passage that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for starting a business,
yet
it is not successful for eliminating poverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
200 countries need the
Possible spelling mistake found.
microcredit
whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50 countries are able to have this facility.

Secondly
, the professor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
further
information about the failure of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
microcredit
by pointing out that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
physically
and mentally not able to be productive.
Hence
, the loan is not useful for them to invest for the production.

Finally
, she emphasizes that it is more necessary to invest on health care, sanitation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
microcredit
as well
,
as a result
they can be productive. The lecture
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the funding of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
microcredit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the cost of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
microcredit
could be free for the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is offering low cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not free.
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IELTS essay microcredit and it s failure

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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