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Do you prefer to keep old friends or making new friends?

Do you prefer to keep old friends or making new friends? BJWJp
"Friendship is god gift". Friends are the most important people in a person's life after their family. In the journey of life we make many friends. Few of them are recent while others are old. Nothing can replace the friendship with your old pals, as you say "Old is gold". Although, a lot of people may believe in making new friends as far as I am concerned, I will go for maintaining old friendship. I would like to elaborate my view on below discussed reasons. First, old buddies are the one with whom you can share your all hidden secrets without fear of being revealed it to someone. Moreover. . .
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Friendship is god gift
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Friends are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a person's life after their family. In the journey of life we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends. Few of them are recent while others are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. Nothing can replace the friendship with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
pals, as you say
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
is gold
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may believe in making new friends as far as I
am concerned
, I will go for maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
friendship. I would like to elaborate my view on below discussed reasons.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
buddies are the one with whom you can share your all hidden secrets without fear of
being revealed
it to someone.
Moreover
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Do you prefer to keep old friends or making new friends?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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