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Mental and physical health problems

Mental and physical health problems YB0kN
Mental health problems can not be as evident as physical illnesses, they may affect differently. I think that any illness which is related to health even if it is psychological or physical are harmful. These days the government and society pay more attention and time to people with disabilities than to people with mental disabilities. Depression is characterized by sadness, poor concentration, loss of interest or pleasure, disturbed appetite, and tiredness. It is very difficult for such people to live in a modern society. When people with mental health problems are plunged into depression, society does not recognize their illness and thinks that they are only pretending for attention. Such people need the support of their loved ones and others, not attention and pitying looks. Moreover, mental disorders can interfere with communication and even isolate them from family and friends. Many people with such diseases do not have the opportunity to work, earn a living and have a personal life, compared to those with limited physical capabilities. I would like to note that in almost all countries the number of hospitals for people with physical illnesses is much higher than the number of places for the treatment of people with mental disorders and problems. On the other hand, in general society, people are more susceptible to those who have a physical form and a neat appearance than to those who have limited physical abilities. Since it is impossible to determine whether a person has mental disabilities, people are more polite to those who look better at first glance. In conclusion, as thousands of people are experiencing stress, the government should make a decision about this problem, and also give benefits to people who suffer from psychological diseases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mental
health problems can not be as evident as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
, they may affect
differently
. I

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
which
is related
to health even if it is psychological or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
are

harmful.

These days the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
pay more attention and time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with disabilities

than to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
disabilities. Depression
is characterized
by sadness, poor

concentration, loss of interest or pleasure, disturbed appetite, and tiredness. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult

for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health problems
are plunged
into depression,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
does not recognize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only


pretending for attention. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need the support of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
, not

attention and pitying looks.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
disorders can interfere with communication and

even isolate them from family and friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with such diseases do not have the

opportunity to work, earn a living and have a personal life, compared to those with limited

physical capabilities. I would like to note that in almost all countries the number of hospitals for

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
is much higher than the number of places for the treatment of

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
disorders and problems.

On the other hand
,
in general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more susceptible to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a

physical form and a neat appearance than to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
abilities. Since it

is impossible to determine whether a person has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
disabilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more polite to

those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
look better at
first
glance.

In conclusion
, as thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are experiencing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a

decision about this problem, and
also
give benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer from psychological

diseases
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IELTS essay Mental and physical health problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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