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Due to the development rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business people are unable to compete

Due to the development rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business people are unable to compete anbX
The development of supermarkets in some countries affected so many local businesses people. And people also willing to buy from supermarkets. Many governments sign the projects for foreign investment for this action local business people in suffer. And most importantly supermarkets price also higher, they will charge for all allowances and taxes as well as fixed prices. Most importantly once you entered to supermarkets unwontedly we will buy be cause of attractive advertisements and colorful packets it will waste of money. But if you take local business people they will connected to your family, as well as you can bargain for price's one more thing you won’t waste your money. In my conclusion government should encourage local business people for doing business.
The development of supermarkets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from supermarkets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
the projects for foreign investment for this action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in suffer. And most
importantly
supermarkets price
also
higher, they will charge for all allowances and taxes
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
prices. Most
importantly
once you entered to supermarkets
unwontedly
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
of attractive advertisements and colorful packets it will waste of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "connect"
connected
to your family,
as well
as you can bargain for price's one more thing you won’t waste your money. In my conclusion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.

IELTS essay Due to the development rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business people are unable to compete

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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