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Medical procedures for cosmetic purposes should not be allowed. Do you agree or disagree?

Medical procedures for cosmetic purposes should not be allowed. MoRDq
There is a rising tendency for people of all ages to have surgery to improve their appearance, although there are a number of arguments against this as will now be examined. The main reason that such procedures should be discouraged is that people should be more confident in themselves, and not be swayed by images in the media. People are constantly bombarded with pictures of people looking glamorous, but these photos have often been digitally altered for the best effect. Many young people, however, suffer from low self- esteem and feel that through operations they could look like the celebrities they see. Another argument against cosmetic procedures is that this diverts resources from more necessary surgeries, which in turn causes longer delays for those in desperate need. Even though such procedures may be done privately, it still requires the attendance of medical staff that would perhaps otherwise be available to the public health system. This can be seen in the waiting lists in the UK, for example, where it can take several months or longer to have a hip replacement operation. However, there are situations when cosmetic surgery can vastly improve the patient's quality of life, such as those who have suffered significant burns or other disfigurements. There are many examples of people for whom surgical work has allowed them to rebuild their life in ways which would have been exceptionally difficult or impossible otherwise. To conclude, it would perhaps be better if cosmetic surgery was discouraged unless it offered significant improvements to the patient's quality of life, and should perhaps also be limited to people between a certain age.
There is a rising tendency for
people
of all ages to have surgery to
improve
their

appearance, although there are a number of arguments against this as will
now
be

examined
.

The main reason that such procedures should
be discouraged
is that
people
should be more

confident
in themselves, and not
be swayed
by images in the media.
People
are
constantly


bombarded with pictures of
people
looking glamorous,
but
these photos have
often
been

digitally
altered for the best effect.
Many
young
people
,
however
, suffer from low self-

esteem and feel that through operations they could look like the celebrities they
see
.

Another argument against cosmetic procedures is that this diverts resources from more

necessary
surgeries, which in turn causes longer delays for those in desperate need. Even

though such procedures may
be done
privately
, it
still
requires the attendance of medical

staff
that would perhaps
otherwise
be available to the public health system. This can
be


seen
in the waiting lists in the UK,
for example
, where it can take several months or longer

to
have a hip replacement operation.

However
, there are situations when cosmetic surgery can
vastly
improve
the patient's

quality
of life, such as those who have suffered significant burns or other disfigurements.

There are
many
examples of
people
for whom surgical work has
allowed
them to rebuild

their
life in ways which would have been
exceptionally
difficult or impossible
otherwise
.

To conclude
, it would perhaps be better if cosmetic surgery
was discouraged
unless it

offered significant improvements to the patient's quality of life, and should perhaps
also
be

limited
to
people
between a certain age.
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IELTS essay Medical procedures for cosmetic purposes should not be allowed.

Essay
  American English
20 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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