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Medical care over the past decades has improved significantly and as a result, the world’s population is increasingly living long into mature age. In my opinion, this development can create a major disturbance in the living cycle of the world and thus, benefits will far outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, we will discuss both sides to showcase a clearer picture.

Medical care over the past decades has improved significantly and as a result, the world’s population is increasingly living long into mature age. In my opinion, this development can create a major disturbance in the living cycle of the world and thus, benefits will far outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, we will xOPN1
There are numerous advantages of the improving life span of individuals to the society and to begin with, it gives personal happiness by providing the opportunity to live longer and spend more times with loved ones. People will obtain more time to bond with their families and do the activities they loved doing together. For instance, my grandmother is 90 years old and wishes to live a few more years to see and bond with her grandchildren, consequently it brings her hope and happiness. Another benefit is that the government and many more can make use of the knowledge and experiences of the retired personnel and learn from them. The government may seek advice from the older mind with regards to some laws that would be implemented, likewise young generation may ask wisdom from retired person with regards to their careers. To illustrate this, when a young person wants to become a doctor, he or she needs a professional teacher that has more experience, so a retired doctor could be a great help on this. On the other side of the argument, there are certain issues of having a lengthy life. Firstly, whenever an individual turns a year older the risk of getting sick also increases and as a consequence it requires more of the government's medical resources. For example, the government should spend more fund in building more facilities for the aged people like shelter and hospitals. A further downside is that living longer does not necessarily bring happiness. By this I mean, an older person is no longer fit to do many of the activities that they enjoyed doing like playing sports and dancing, leading to the likelihood of depression and a deterioration in their physical health. To conclude, evaluating both sides of the argument, I believe that, while old age brings a number of problems-predominantly government fund-related, the advantages that it provides to the family units and the community as a whole are far more significant.
There are numerous advantages of the improving life span of individuals to the society and to
begin
with, it gives personal happiness by providing the opportunity to
live
longer and spend more times with
loved
ones.
People
will obtain more time to bond with their families and do the activities they
loved
doing together.
For instance
, my grandmother is 90 years
old
and wishes to
live
a few more years to
see
and bond with her grandchildren,
consequently
it brings her hope and happiness. Another benefit is that the
government
and
many
more can
make
use
of the knowledge and experiences of the retired personnel and learn from them. The
government
may seek advice from the older mind
with regards to
some
laws that would
be implemented
,
likewise
young generation may ask wisdom from retired person
with regards to
their careers. To illustrate this, when a young person wants to become a doctor, he or she needs a professional teacher that has more experience,
so
a retired doctor could be a great
help
on this.

On the other side of the argument, there are certain issues of having a lengthy life.
Firstly
, whenever an individual turns a year older the
risk
of getting sick
also
increases and as a consequence it requires more of the
government
's medical resources.
For example
, the
government
should spend more fund in building more facilities for the aged
people
like shelter and hospitals. A
further
downside is that living longer does not
necessarily
bring happiness. By this I mean, an older person is no longer fit to do
many
of the activities that they enjoyed doing like playing sports and dancing, leading to the likelihood of depression and a deterioration in their physical health.

To conclude
, evaluating both sides of the argument, I believe that, while
old
age brings a number of problems-
predominantly
government
fund-related, the advantages that it provides to the family units and the community as a whole are far more significant.
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IELTS essay Medical care over the past decades has improved significantly and as a result, the world’s population is increasingly living long into mature age. In my opinion, this development can create a major disturbance in the living cycle of the world and thus, benefits will far outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, we will

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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