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Media show more interest in famous personality who are from ordinary family , is it good or bad thing.

It it true that everybody wants to become a famous personality in nowadays. Media show more interest in that person's who becomes popular but are from normal background, and people are interested because it encourages them for their future. In my opinion I believe that it is completely good thing to follow them. Firstly, it can be noticed that most of the people's have more interest in famous personality who are from ordinary family, this is because these days everyone want to become well known personality, as a result of it they show more interest in their lives. It encourages them to do a lot of hard work and achieve success in their lives, because they think if that famous personality could achieve success from ordinary background then why can't they. The primary reason behind that the media is more interested in famous personalities from simple family is that it motivates youth to do more and more hard work so they can achieve high positions in their lives. It can also bring spiritual and moral values in their lives. For example: if a media show a news story about any patriot it encourages and develops youth mind towards love for nation and increase patriotism. In contrast, some peole argues that media should not be wasting time on showing their story, because they think there are some well known personalities in the world who are not good, they do not do any good work for society or youth. They develop negative thoughts in people's mind from their work which is not good for both of them. In conclusion, media shows more interest in famous personalities who are from ordinary background because it motivates people. I restate my opinion that it is completely a good thing.
It seems you either mean “it is”, “if it”, “it” or there is a comma missing: “it, it”.
It it
true that everybody wants to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
nowadays is used without ‘in’. Use simply: “nowadays”.
in nowadays
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in that person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
becomes popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are from normal background, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are interested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it encourages them for their future. In my opinion I believe that it is completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing to follow them.

Firstly
, it can
be noticed
that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are from ordinary family, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these days everyone
The pronoun ‘everyone’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “wants”, “wanted”.
want
to become well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
,
as a result
of it they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. It encourages them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and achieve success in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
could achieve success from ordinary background then why can't they.

The primary reason behind that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities from simple family is that it motivates youth to do more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can achieve high positions in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. It can
also
bring spiritual and moral values in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
: if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
a news story about any patriot it encourages and develops youth mind towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for nation and increase patriotism.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
peole
argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should not be wasting time on showing their story,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
well known personalities in the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
, they do not do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for society or youth. They develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for both of them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are from ordinary background
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it motivates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I restate my opinion that it is completely a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing.
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IELTS essay Media show more interest in famous personality who are from ordinary family, is it good or bad thing.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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