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Mass media has significantly changed our cognitive pattern. This is very apparent in our daily lives and our surroundings today. It is strongly agreed that people’s ideology is massively influenced by TV, Radio & Newspaper. This will be proven by analysing boa these mediums have shaped people’s ideas about lifestyle and habits

Mass media has significantly changed our cognitive pattern. This is very apparent in our daily lives and our surroundings today. It is strongly agreed that people’s ideology is massively influenced by TV, Radio & Newspaper. This will be proven by analysing boa these mediums have shaped people’s ideas about lifestyle and habits GJ7De
To begin with, mass media constantly bombard people with adverts, world news, trends, and fashion etc. The viewers get captivated and try to imitate that. For instance, TV & newspapers often cover the lifestyle of celebrities in a jazzy manner and consequently most youngsters try to act, dress and talk like them. This example clearly show the influence of mass media is constantly changing our lifestyle and perceptions. Thus, mass media plays a great role in shaping one’s ideas.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, mass media
constantly
bombard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with adverts, world news, trends, and fashion etc. The viewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
captivated and try to imitate that.
For instance
, TV & newspapers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cover the lifestyle of celebrities
Consider replacing "in a jazzy manner" with the adverb for "jazzy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a jazzy manner
and
consequently
most youngsters try to act, dress and talk like them. This example
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the influence of mass media is
constantly
changing our lifestyle and perceptions.
Thus
, mass media plays a great role in shaping one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
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IELTS essay Mass media has significantly changed our cognitive pattern. This is very apparent in our daily lives and our surroundings today. It is strongly agreed that people’s ideology is massively influenced by TV, Radio & Newspaper. This will be proven by analysing boa these mediums have shaped people’s ideas about lifestyle and habits

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
79 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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