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Many young people want to take a year off before working or studying to travel the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

Many young people want to take a year off before working or studying to travel the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend? kgkQ2
These days taking gap for a year or so to explore the new places around the world before engaging into busy life has become the trend among youngsters. Though there are some negative aspects ot it, i find it as a good trend that everyone must follow. On the one hand, keeping time gap between the study or work may not turn out to be fruitful to the young people if they spend their time only by traveling. That way they are only focusing their minds towards exploring and enjoying irrelevant aspects that won't be useful for their study or work. They cannot get involved in the productive activities and eventually their time will be wasted. After spending time without doing much, some may even get lazy and won't be able to get rid of it that easily over the period of time. However, there are far more positive aspects to it than negative ones like having a year gap could help a person to heal spiritually and improve the mental health condition. People these days live a very hectic life, they are always giving priority to the competition that they don't get much time for their won physical as well as mental well being. So if these young people gets some private time to escape away from the hustle and bustle and enjoy the the new experiences. In conclusion, while having a year off could bring young people some negative effects however it is crucial for the mental as well as physical well-being.
These days taking gap for a year or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to explore the new places around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
engaging into busy life has become the trend among youngsters. Though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
aspects ot
it,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
find it as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow.

On the one hand, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
gap between the study or work may not turn out to be fruitful to the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by traveling. That way they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing their minds towards exploring and enjoying irrelevant aspects that won't be useful for their study or work. They cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in the productive activities and
eventually
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
be wasted
. After spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without doing much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lazy and won't be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of it that
easily
over the period of time.

However
, there are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects to it than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones like having a year gap could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person to heal
spiritually
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the mental health condition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hectic life, they are always giving priority to the competition that they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their won physical
as well
as mental
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if these young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to escape away from the hustle and bustle and enjoy
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
new experiences.

In conclusion
, while having a year off could bring young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
however
it is crucial for the mental
as well
as physical well-being.

IELTS essay Many young people want to take a year off before working or studying to travel the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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