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Growing number of overweight people issues.

Growing number of overweight people issues. X22Y
There is an ever-increasing number of overweight people in society. As far as I’m concerned, this issue is a very critical one which has been considered too lite by many of us. I go with the idea that initing physical education lessons in the school curriculum are one of the best ways to solve this problem. Overweight, not only affects your external physical appearance but also has an adverse impact on your health. Firstly, Considering all the overweight-related health issues like heart problems, Leg and backbone pain, respiratory issues, and a lot more are not easy to cure. Once we have these health issues then we will have to suffer with them forever. Secondly, Physical fitness is directly proportional to one’s mental health, if there are not having a balance among the both then it’s hard for them to lead a peaceful life. To eradicate this issue, There has to be a lot of awareness programs and camps conducted to educate people about the importance of physical activities. Schools are one of the best ways to do this since it’s easier to impose the thought on someone at the primary stage. Having a separate period for sports and showing importance to physical education focuses or explains the need for physical activities. Although we teach students, it is a must for us to create awareness among their parents as well. To wrap up, Physical exercise and by avoiding junk food is the only solution to eliminate the overweight problem with the people of the society. Creating a huge amount of awareness among the students in their schools is considered and proven to be one of the easiest ways to show the importance of Physical education.
There is an ever-increasing number of overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society. As far as I’m concerned, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
critical one which has
been considered
too lite by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
initing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education lessons in the school curriculum are one of the best ways to solve this problem.

Overweight, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects your external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
appearance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has an adverse impact on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Firstly
, Considering all the overweight-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like heart problems, Leg and backbone pain, respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, and a lot more are not easy to cure.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
we have these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
then we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer with them forever.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
fitness is
directly
proportional to one’s mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, if there are not having a balance among the both then it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to lead a peaceful life.

To eradicate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
awareness programs and camps conducted to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities. Schools are one of the best ways to do this since it’s easier to impose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
on someone at the primary stage. Having a separate period for sports and showing importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education focuses or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities. Although we teach students, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for us to create awareness among their parents
as well
.

To wrap up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
exercise and by avoiding junk food is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to eliminate the overweight problem with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the society. Creating a huge amount of awareness among the students in their schools
is considered
and proven to be one of the easiest ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
education.
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IELTS essay Growing number of overweight people issues.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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