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Many Young People Nowadays Are Imitating Celebrities In Sports And Movies | Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample

Many Young People Nowadays Are Imitating Celebrities In Sports And Movies | Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample oRk13
It is now quite common for young people to imitate the lifestyle of famous actors and sports personalities. In my opinion, this trend has both merits and demerits. Celebrities are people who have achieved name and fame in their field. They worked hard to become what they are. Obviously, there are a lot of things that young people can learn from famous people. Perseverance is one of them. Successful sportspersons have put in years of hard work to gain international name and fame. Many of them hail from very ordinary backgrounds and yet they achieved stupendous success by virtue of their hard work. A young person following an eminent sports personality in all likelihood will get inspired by his idol and learn the value of hard work and perseverance. This, in turn, benefits his own life and career. Famous actors and musicians all have similar stories to tell and are an inspiration for millions. Their success story inspires young people to script their own success stories. In addition, youngsters following celebrities in fashion or sports are more likely to become health conscious. For example, teenagers admiring Bollywood celebrities often aspire to have the six pack abs that their screen idols possess. This encourages them to work out and it benefits their health. On the flip side, celebrities have their own flaws and a youngster should never try to copy their lifestyle blindly. For example, many actors are famous for their lavish lifestyle. They spend enormously on garments, cars and other accessories. A teenager who wants these luxuries for himself will unwittingly invite trouble into his life. When he realizes that he cannot live the glam lifestyle he aspires for, he will become disappointed. Some of them may even get involved in criminal activities to fund their lavish lifestyles. In conclusion, when teenagers get inspired by celebrities, it can have both positive and negative impact on their lives. There are certainly a lot of things they can learn from famous people. However, they should never try to copy their lifestyle blindly.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
quite common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to imitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
actors and sports personalities. In my opinion, this trend has both merits and demerits.

Celebrities are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have achieved name and fame in their field. They worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to become what they are.
Obviously
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Perseverance is one of them. Successful
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
have put in years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to gain international name and fame.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them hail from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ordinary
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
backgrounds and
yet
they achieved stupendous success by virtue of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person following an eminent sports personality in all likelihood will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired by his idol and learn the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and perseverance. This, in turn, benefits his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life and career.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
actors and musicians all have similar stories to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
and are an inspiration for millions. Their success story inspires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to script their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
success stories.
In addition
, youngsters following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in fashion or sports are more likely to become health conscious.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
admiring Bollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aspire to have the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
six pack
abs that their screen idols possess. This encourages them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out and it benefits their health.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
flaws and a youngster should never try to copy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
blindly
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actors are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
for their lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. They spend
enormously
on garments, cars and other accessories. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
who wants these luxuries for himself will
unwittingly
invite trouble into his life. When he realizes that he cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the glam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
he aspires for, he will become disappointed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them may even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in criminal activities to fund their lavish lifestyles.

In conclusion
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, it can have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things they can learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, they should never try to copy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
blindly
.
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IELTS essay Many Young People Nowadays Are Imitating Celebrities In Sports And Movies | Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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