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many young people like pop stars and international movie stars rather than famous people in the history of their country. why does this happen and what measures do you think should be taken to solve this problem.

many young people like pop stars and international movie stars rather than famous people in the history of their country. why does this happen and what measures do you think should be taken to solve this problem. oR9ow
Reports have shown that most criminals are uneducated. This leads to a belief that the key to crime reduction is to educate criminals in prison and prepare them career-wise for when they leave. Although I think this is a good idea, I cannot agree that this is the best solution. It cannot be argued that this is an excellent idea. Multiple reports have shown that the number of recidivism cases is increasing. Most of these crimes stem from ex-prisoners not being able to have stable lives after their releases, leading to recidivism to afford living needs. The reason for this is because most criminals are not educated properly, so they are not able to apply for jobs, making them opt for recommitting crimes. This means that educating them and preparing their career paths are definitely ways to reduce the number of crimes committed by ex-criminals. However, I disagree that this is the best solution to reduce crime rates. As I have mentioned above, educating offenders can only reduce the rate of recidivism. Nowadays, most crimes are committed by first-time offenders, with a high rate of juvenile lawbreakers. Only taking actions on inmates is not enough. This is why I think that educating criminals is not the key solution to crime rates reduction. Rather than doing so, I believe improving the education system to improve the rate of literacy and motivation on building better career paths for juveniles would be the key. In conclusion, educating people, especially criminals, is always a good thing to do. However, I still maintain that this is not the best way to reduce crimes. I think that raising the education levels of the whole population is the better solution.
Reports have shown that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are uneducated
. This leads to a belief that the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
reduction is to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in prison and prepare them career-wise for when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is the best solution.

It cannot
be argued
that this is an excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Multiple reports have shown that the number of recidivism cases is increasing. Most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
stem from ex-prisoners not being able to have stable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
after their releases, leading to recidivism to afford living needs.
The reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are not educated
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not able to apply for jobs, making them opt for recommitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
them and preparing their career paths are definitely ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed by ex-criminals.

However
, I disagree that this is the best solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. As I have mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
offenders can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of recidivism. Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are committed
by
first
-time offenders, with a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of juvenile lawbreakers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
taking actions on inmates is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. This is why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is not the key solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
reduction.
Rather
than doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I believe improving the education system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of literacy and motivation on building better career paths for juveniles would be the key.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, is always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to do.
However
, I
still
maintain that this is not the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that raising the education levels of the whole population is the better solution.
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IELTS essay many young people like pop stars and international movie stars rather than famous people in the history of their country. why does this happen and what measures do you think should be taken to solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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