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Many young people leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. What are the causes of this? Suggest some solutions.

Many young people leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. What are the causes of this? Suggest some solutions. LBr53
Currently, so many young people who graduate from school have a negative attitude towards learning. In this essay, I would like to identify the causes of this situation and propose some corresponding solutions. A wide range of factors contribute to the fact that a lot of school-leavers have a negative attitude towards learning. In the first place, most schools focus on students’ academic performance much more than practical skills. Unfortunately, when students finish their schooling, they realise that practical skills are actually more important than academic achievement in the society; thus school-leavers are disappointed and lose their motivation to learn more. In the second place, the majority of teachers still use traditional methodologies which encourage rote memorisation and standardised tests. As a result, students feel that learning is an arduous process, which is not stimulating at all. Lastly, the modern culture does not value education enough. Traditionally, education was highly valued, yet sadly, modern young people gradually value financial success more than education. Fortunately, several solutions have been found. The most urgent solution is education must be geared to students’ needs in their future. Essentially, schools have to look at how to meet the demand of a changing society and provide more practical skills and knowledge for students. Likewise, the responsibility for changing teaching methods falls on teachers. In essence, since teachers’ pedagogies directly determine whether students enjoy learning or not, teachers should kindle students’ interest in learning by applying more engaging methods in class. Finally, the responsibility for promoting education rests with the government. As I would be hard-pressed to imagine that our future society value education less and less, it is high time the government started to educate the general public so that youngsters will see the value of education more. Overall, a growing number of young people do not like learning anymore after they leave school due to various reasons. So the key is, I believe, to take actions such as changing the focus of schools, modifying teachers’ approaches to teaching and promoting the value of education
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who graduate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude

towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. In this essay, I would like to identify the causes of this situation and

propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corresponding solutions.

A wide range of factors contribute to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
school-leavers have a

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. In the
first
place, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
focus on students’

academic performance much more than practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Unfortunately, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
finish their schooling, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are actually more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than academic achievement in the society;
thus
school-leavers
are disappointed
and lose their motivation to learn more. In the second place, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
traditional methodologies which encourage rote
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorisation' is British English.
memorisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'standardised' is British English.
standardised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is an arduous process, which is not stimulating at all.
Lastly
, the modern culture does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Traditionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was
highly
valued,
yet
sadly
, modern young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
financial success more than education.

Fortunately
, several solutions have
been found
. The most urgent solution is

education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be geared
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
needs in their future.
Essentially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look at how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand of a changing society and provide more practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Likewise
, the responsibility for changing teaching methods falls on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. In essence, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
pedagogies
directly
determine whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
or not,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should kindle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
by applying more engaging methods in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Finally
, the responsibility for promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rests with the

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. As I would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-pressed to imagine that our future society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
less and less, it is high time the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to educate the
Consider using "public".
general public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that youngsters will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
more.

Overall
, a growing number of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
anymore after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to various reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the key is, I believe, to take actions such as changing the focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, modifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
approaches to teaching and promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of

Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
education
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IELTS essay Many young people leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. What are the causes of this? Suggest some solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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