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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many young children today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

: Many young children today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning? eWkA
To begin, there are many of the children who today leave school with negativity towards learning and how can schools can encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning. This essay will discuss the several reasons about why children are leaving school with negative thoughts and how can schools encourage young people to have positive attitude towards learning. There are several reasons because of children are leaving schools, firstly, there are lots of children who attend school but are expecting something more from school. For example, they need more outdoor games or activities. Somehow, now a days every parents are teaching to their child that you have to progress academically good in the end of year but if child is not capable enough of studying and have a little bit any problems like disorder or some diseases so their minds are not that much capable of doing that work but parents must tell their children’s that they must put as much as efforts as they can instead of pushing or pressuring them to show progress in studies. Moreover, Now a days, there are some of the parents who have allowed their children to do what they want and have provide them with mobile phones, many other accessories from the beginning of their birth so it’s a wrong addiction instead of it they must get some resources about the studies. On the other hand, schools must provide best environment and specially the lectures and classwork in the form of presentation or any other activities which can have more attractive impression on the children’s. Schools must give mercy on the syllabus and lectures. Furthermore, there are lots of children who are not academically good in their studies so in the end of the year schools must provide their results to their parents with a positive improvement so child can work and progress academically good. To sum up, these kind of causes and solutions can help schools to resolve the negative impact into positive impact and it can also create a great initiative for the children’s.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with negativity towards learning and how can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "school"
schools
can encourage young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
attitude towards learning. This essay will discuss the several reasons about why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts and how can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
encourage young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
attitude towards learning.

There are several reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
firstly
, there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are expecting something more from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, they need more outdoor games or activities. Somehow,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "parent"?
parents
are teaching to their child that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
progress
academically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if child is not capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
of studying and have a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
any problems like disorder or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their minds are not that much capable of doing that work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put as much as efforts as they can
instead
of pushing or pressuring them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
progress in studies.
Moreover
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, there are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do what they want and have
Use past participle here: "provided".
provide
them with mobile phones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other accessories from the beginning of their birth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
addiction
instead
of it they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resources about the studies.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
A determiner is probably missing here: "provide the best".
provide best
environment and
specially
the lectures and classwork in the form of presentation or any other activities which can have more attractive impression on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give mercy on the syllabus and lectures.
Furthermore
, there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not
academically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide their results to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
improvement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
child can work and progress
academically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

To sum up,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of causes and solutions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to resolve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact and it can
also
create a great initiative for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
.
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IELTS essay : Many young children today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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