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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems a s a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems a s a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? m1WB1
Recently, impacts of sedentary lifestyle have become a popular topic. This is a common issue especially among working people. Generally, they do not exercise during a working day not even in their free times. This essay will discuss the mentioned phenomenon. From social standpoint, having a time issue is one of the most important factors which leads working people to not doing exercise. They work long hours in a day and after that most of them do not have enough energy even if they have plans to exercise. On the other hand, they have a lot of responsibilities beside the work namely family, friends, even having a quality time for themselves. Thus, despite the fact that people, especially working people who spend a lot of time behind the desk, need to work out every day, they don’t have enough time to do exercise. Some companies have indoor gyms or other facilities for their employees to exercise during the working hour. These companies have realized the importance of human resources and of course well-being of their workforce. For instance, Microsoft has almost a city indoor in order to fulfill any need of their employees, one of which being healthy, would not be accomplished without exercising. As a result, providing facilities for employees to work out during working hours could be the solution for this common issue. To conclude, while the sedentary lifestyle has been growing especially among workforce, companies should have some plans to ease the ways which people could do exercise during working days.
Recently, impacts of sedentary lifestyle have become a popular topic. This is a common issue
especially
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Generally
, they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day not even in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. This essay will discuss the mentioned phenomenon.

From social standpoint, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
issue is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors which leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long hours in a day and after that most of them do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy even if they have plans to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
On the other hand
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
responsibilities beside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
namely
family, friends, even having a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves.
Thus
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
behind the desk, need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out every day, they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do exercise.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have indoor gyms or other facilities for their employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hour. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have realized the importance of human resources and
of course
well-being of their workforce.
For instance
, Microsoft has almost a city indoor in order to fulfill any need of their employees, one of which being healthy, would not
be accomplished
without exercising.
As a result
, providing facilities for employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours could be the solution for this common issue.

To conclude
, while the sedentary lifestyle has been growing
especially
among workforce,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the ways which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
days.
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IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems a s a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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