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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. v. 40

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. v. 40 g5YXD
Nowadays old people is became a problem for our society. This word seems really hard but is what our society think about the old generation. the problem should not regard the old people but the incredible increasing of the population during the last twenty years, and the consequent growth of unemployement. Plus there is the big problem of the coronavirus and the devastating economic consequences of it. During this period (and also in the past) the Government spent a lot of money for useless initiatives, but i think that pay for the health and the well-being of our grandparents and parents it’s a right think. The Government help in particular the family that have economic problem and the old people that are affected from degenerative diseases that the family alone can hardly manage. I don’t know honestly how much the Government pay for the old people but let’s think about this, you will work for the most of your life and then when you became retired and you don’t have enough money; your son are old you should stay alone in you house with your healths problems or even worse you have to live with your children that (no matter how much you like it and you like them) you know very well that you ruin their privacy and do not let them live their life. Instead if the Government pay for this the old people not only can be assisted by nurses and staff trained for their health but they can also have a social life with the possibility of carrying out activities with people of the same age. I think that each of us wants our best for our closest relatives who are elderly and we should think more about the Old People in generals if they were all like our grandfather and grandmother, in this way i think that nobody will refuse to give them help.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
became a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for our society. This word seems
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is what our society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
should not regard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the incredible increasing of the population during the last twenty years, and the consequent growth of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployement
. Plus there is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of the coronavirus and the devastating economic consequences of it. During this period (and
also
in the past) the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for useless initiatives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that pay for the health and the well-being of our grandparents and parents it’s a right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in particular
the family that have economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
from degenerative diseases that the family alone can hardly manage.

I don’t know
honestly
how much the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about this, you will work for the most of your life and then when you became retired and you don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money; your son are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
you should stay alone in you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with your
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
or even worse you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with your children that (no matter how much you like it and you like them) you know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well that you ruin their privacy and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
pay for this the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
be assisted
by nurses and staff trained for their health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
also
have a social life with the possibility of carrying out activities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the same age.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that each of us wants our best for our closest relatives who are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
elderly and
we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in generals if they were all like our grandfather and grandmother, in this way
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that nobody will refuse to give them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. v. 40

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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