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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise ? What can be done about this problem ?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? PNod
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Exercising is essential for good health. However a majority of the working class do not exercise routinely and that unhealthy habit results in health problems. In my opinion, I think there are a few reasons pertaining to this issue. Firstly it is because of time. In this competitive society, the working class tend to work for twelve hours or more every day and this caused them to have little to no time being allocated for exercise. Even when they have time, most of them might choose to rest or do house chores instead of exercising. Secondly, it might be due to the lack of interest in exercising. People might prioritise their hobbies for example drawing, gardening and etc instead of choosing to exercise. furthermore, some of the working class might find it difficult to find a suitable location to do exercise. Some of their neighbourhoods might not have facilities built for exercise, or they may find the registration fee of paid facilities expensive. This came from my own experience. as I live in the hostel and there was minimal facilities provided for exercising and also there are no gym or paid facilities in the neighbourhood, which made me think of exercising as a nuisance and inconvenience. There are several possible solutions to this problem. One of it is that the working class should have proper time management and do their best to insert exercise as part of their daily routine. From my own experience when 2 was a student, I used to complain that I have little to no time to do exercise because of my busy schedule. However after my parents adeviled on learning to manage my time properly, 2 managed to go swimming at the pool for an hour and a half every day, which is why from my experience, time management is very crucial. Additionally, the government should encourage the working class to exercise by displaying more of the benefits of exercising on posters and even television advertisements. This can help spread public awareness of the pros of it and furthermore serves as a reminder for the busy working class. In conclusion, I think that the busy schedule, preference and availability of facilities are among the many reasons that the working class do not get enough exercise; the possible solutions may be time management, but the government too play an important role in encouraging the working class to have exercise as their daily routine.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience or knowledge.

Exercising is essential for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
a majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
routinely
and

that unhealthy habit results in health problems.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are a few reasons pertaining to this issue.

Firstly
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
this


competitive society,

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
tend to work for twelve hours or more every day and this caused them to have

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
little
to no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
being allocated
for exercise.

Even when they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, most of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
choose to rest or do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
instead
of exercising.

Secondly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be due to the lack of interest in exercising.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
their hobbies
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


example drawing,

gardening
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
instead
of choosing to exercise.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
find

it difficult to find a suitable location to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not have facilities built for exercise,

or they

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
may
find the registration fee of paid facilities expensive.

This came from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the hostel and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
there


was minimal facilities provided for exercising and
also
there are no gym or paid facilities in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
,

which made me

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
think
of exercising as a nuisance and inconvenience.

There are several possible solutions to this problem. One of it is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
should have proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management

and do their best to insert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as part of their daily routine. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience when 2 was a student, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to complain that

I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my busy schedule.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
after my parents
Possible spelling mistake found.
adeviled
on learning to manage my time

properly
, 2 managed to go swimming at the pool for an hour and a half every day,

which is why from my experience,

time management

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial.

Additionally
,

the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
by displaying more of the benefits of

exercising on posters and even television advertisements. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
spread public awareness of the pros of it and
furthermore


serves as a reminder for the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

In conclusion
,

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the busy schedule,

preference and availability of facilities are among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that the

working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
; the possible solutions may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Did you mean "to play"?
too play
an

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
important
role in encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as their daily routine.
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IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
31 paragraphs
423 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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