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Write about the following topic: Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

: Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Ng1g
Now a days many people are doing jobs, due to work load they are not doing exercise properly neither not doing it. People are not doing exercise for their spare time because they need some relaxation. After sometimes it causes lot of health issues. Some organizations are arranged some exercise practitioner for their employees to make them healthier and relaxed. Firstly, all the mankind's are working but not doing exercise for work location and not doing in their free time due to job pardon not doing it. So they got more stress and tired. In this reason their productivity and performance is low. For example, if they person is working hard but there is no relaxation then, they will get more stress on it after sometimes they will get bored. Secondly, the employers must arrange some exercise program so that they will get some refreshment and healthier. For example, the organization must poster exercise tips in order to doing their desk itself or arrange someone to create exercise program by weekly in common place or in desk. In my point of view people should take simple exercise tips and doing it everyday, so that, they will get some refreshments.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
jobs, due to work load they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
properly
neither not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for their spare time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxation.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it causes
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
health issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
organizations
are arranged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
practitioner for their employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them healthier and relaxed.

Firstly
, all the mankind's are working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for work location and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
in their free time due to job pardon not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tired. In this reason their productivity and performance is low.
For example
, if
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they person
is working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no relaxation then, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on it after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored.

Secondly
, the employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "exercises"?
exercise
program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
refreshment and healthier.
For example
, the organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
poster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
tips in order to
Did you mean "do"?
doing
their desk itself or arrange someone to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
program by weekly in common place or in desk.

In my point of view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should take simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
tips and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
refreshments.
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IELTS essay : Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Write about the following topic: Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.