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In many countries insufficient respect is shown to older people

In many countries insufficient respect is shown to older people nKPe
Nowadays in some cultures young generation has a disrespectful and negative attitude to senior citizens. I guess it is caused by the cultural distinctions and it derives in a growth of crime rates against the elderly. Citizens of different countries have their own mentality with a number of features. That is to say, parents of some cultures teach their offsprings to show respect to old people, whereas others don't pay much attention to this. For instance, in Uzbekistan the elderly must be treated as a God, as opposed to Russia where youngsters believe that aged people don't deserve undue respect and concern. furthermore, with regard to popularity of a social media, a bad role-modeling contributes to poor deference to the elderly. in other words, the famous promote the idea that old people are worthless for society and adolescents tend to follow and obey such claims. For example, there is a very popular blogger from Russian who propagands the concept that the government shouldn't spend much resources on provision of pensions for elders. The content of social media and ways of upbringing are parts of culture and they affect various aspects of nation's life including treatment to elderly people. These causes have resulted in grievous issues that directly connected to extra-expenses from national budget and an increase of offenses against senior citizens. The number of adults opt to send their elderly folks to nursing houses and therefore such institutions has to be funded by governmental agencies in order to provide the essential terms and conditions such as healthcare and accommodations. Regarding to aged people who keep living with with their relatives, they might become victims of verbal and physical abuse. Some adults intentionally inflict physical pain to their old because they allegedly are useless and a burden for them. Take my friend's experience as an example, it happened when his grandparents retired and then they were subjected to threats and daily beatings. Hence, it can be observed that such problems arise from willful lack of care and attention to older people. In conclusion, such negligent relationship to the elderly happens in one countries with a appropriate mentality and sense of social platform. Unfortunately, it reply in extra expenditure of government and violence within families.
Nowadays in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures young generation has a disrespectful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude to senior citizens. I guess it
is caused
by the cultural distinctions and it derives in a growth of crime rates against the elderly.

Citizens of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mentality with a number of features.
That is
to say, parents of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures teach their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
respect to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whereas others don't pay much attention to this.
For instance
, in Uzbekistan the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be treated
as a God, as opposed to Russia where youngsters believe that aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't deserve undue respect and concern.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, with regard to popularity of a social media, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
role-modeling contributes to poor deference to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are worthless for society and adolescents tend to follow and obey such claims.
For example
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular blogger from Russian who
Possible spelling mistake found.
propagands
the concept that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
shouldn't spend
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
resources on provision of pensions for elders. The content of social media and ways of upbringing are parts of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they affect various aspects of nation's life including treatment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

These causes have resulted in grievous issues that
directly
connected to extra-expenses from national budget and an increase of offenses against senior citizens. The number of adults
Did you mean "opts"?
opt
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
folks to nursing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
therefore
such institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be funded
by governmental agencies in order to provide the essential terms and conditions such as healthcare and accommodations.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
living
Possible typo: you repeated a word
with with
their relatives, they might become victims of verbal and physical abuse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
adults
intentionally
inflict physical pain to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they allegedly are useless and a burden for them. Take my friend's experience as an example, it happened when his grandparents
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
retired and
then they
were subjected
to threats and daily beatings.
Hence
, it can
be observed
that such problems arise from willful lack of care and attention to older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, such negligent relationship to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
happens in
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one country", "a country", or simply "countries"?
one countries
with
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
appropriate mentality and sense of social platform. Unfortunately, it
Did you mean "replies"?
reply
in extra expenditure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and violence within families.
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IELTS essay In many countries insufficient respect is shown to older people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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