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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Owing to the sedentary lifestyle, people these days hardly get involved in physical activities which eventually makes them unhealthy. The main reason for this is the surge in the work pressures and household responsibilities.

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Owing to the sedentary lifestyle, people these days hardly get involved in physical activities which eventually makes them unhealthy. The main reason for this is the surge in the work pressures and household responsibilities. KBLN
Physical activities are consider to be most healthiest way of living life which is believed by people around the world. Major health issues are increasing due to lack of physical exercise and majority of the office going people does not care about this in working hours as well as their leisure time. This essay will discuss the reasons behind employees who are not able to get proper exercise and moreover, solutions for this problem. Primary factor about this situations are involving work pressure and financial commitments. Firstly, work pressure plays a vital role, like every employers set some targets to theirs employees, so they are rush to finish allocated task in their office hours and extending their working hours to complete their job. For instance, In a team of 5 people all received equal amount of work, One unable to do the task means it will automatically create work pressure on the one, this will leads to performance issue during the annual rating. In this case, they are using their free time or weekends to complete their assignments. Another issue is financial commitments, one belongs to middle class or lower middle class family means, they will have lot of responsibilities revolves around their salary. For example, working people not having required amount of income for their family will result in part time employment, so they can not think about the physical activities in non working hours. These are the factors majorly involved in this issue and definitely it will cause major health problems. Solve this problem, many needs to contribute in different aspects, such as employers should consider about the mind of the employees and conduct some yoga or exercise activities at least once in a month for working people refreshment, this will get them out of the work pressure trap. Family should provide enough support to the working member among them, like going stroll in the evening after the office hours or spend some time in indoor active games such as badminton or tennis. Above mentioned can be result in good physical activity around the working people. In conclusion, To avoid any sort of medical issues in our health, good amount of exercises needs to be done to maintain our inner and outer soul. Spending time with family members and colleagues during exercise or kind of sports time will help some ones physical health in better way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
to be
Use only "healthiest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most healthiest
way of living life which
is believed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world. Major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are increasing due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the office going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
does not care about this in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
as well
as their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This essay will discuss the reasons behind employees who are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
moreover
, solutions for this problem.

Primary factor about
Did you mean "these"?
this
situations
The verb 'involving' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and financial commitments.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
plays a vital role, like every employers set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
targets to theirs employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are rush to finish allocated task in their office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and extending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to complete their job.
For instance
, In a team of 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all received equal amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, One unable to do the task means it will
automatically
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on the one, this will leads to performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
during the annual rating.
In this case
, they are using their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or weekends to complete their assignments. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is financial commitments, one belongs to middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or lower middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family means, they will have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
responsibilities revolves around their salary.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not having required amount of income for their family will result in part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. These are the factors
majorly
involved in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
and definitely it will cause major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

Solve this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
needs to contribute in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects, such as employers should
Did you mean simply "consider the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about the
mind of the employees and conduct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
yoga or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at least once in a month for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refreshment, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
trap.

Family should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
support to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
member among them, like going stroll in the evening after the office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
or spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in indoor active games such as badminton or tennis. Above mentioned can be result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, To avoid any sort of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
needs to
be done
to maintain our inner and outer soul. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members and colleagues during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
or kind of sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in better way.
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IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Owing to the sedentary lifestyle, people these days hardly get involved in physical activities which eventually makes them unhealthy. The main reason for this is the surge in the work pressures and household responsibilities.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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